Neener's profile
AGE:
28
LAST LOGIN: January 08
LAST LOGIN: January 08
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Version 1
4 Reviews
11 Comments
I'd slit my stupid wrists And let the cliche slide out Of my apparently unworthy and unoriginal veins If I thought it would please you on second thought, no If I gave a shit what you thought of me, maybe but, alas, I do not so, to you my dear Brokenhand I say piss off :)
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews
3 Comments
This moment is gone Before we realized it was here All we're really feeling Are the moments passed And the future we hope to create Now doesn't exist It's a myth we made up To give us a sturdy place In the midst of such chaos In reality, there is no now No here Every moment is changing Moving and unfathomable Every place is different From what it will be tomorrow Nothing is static or stable Regardless of our calculations And quantifications Everything is change We have no solid ground No rock...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
I used to be a shell A hollow form Where I hid my true self Now I'm out For all the world to see And I don't like What I have become But isn't this what I've always been? Just hidden soberly Beneath this traitors skin The question remains Can I put myself Back inside myself again?
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
Sleeping Beauty Lives in a fantasy A fake world Where trivial dramas Fill her life Dreaming Beauty Overlooks the problems Ignores the fact That something's missing Creeping Beauty Sneaks through life Making no waves No lasting impression Hardly there at all Weeping Beauty Sees her world Crumbling Slowly Into a turbulent sea Drowned by reality Waking Beauty Wakes up screaming Drenched in sweat Clawing the sky Reaching for The last shred of hope Beautiful Beauty Life is not perfect Too many fla...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews
11 Comments
I know I don't know you But let me force my opinions Down your open throat Even though we've never met I know what's best for you You think your eyes are open But they're not Not to my views anyway They don't see What I want them to see So I'll make you want To rip them from your head Before we're through I'll make you hate yourself I don't care about your opinions You're too stupid to make Your own decisions I've already made them for you Close your eyes and drive I'll steer for you It's eas...
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Reviews
You reviewed mine, so I'll review yours!! I'm also fairly new here, so I hope I do okay. Also, I'm not really a pro at the writing, so I'm not sure if it will help much, but I liked this story. It was very well written with a good amount of description and imagery. Is there more to come of this story, or was it over with the character being eaten? :) either way, i did like it.
this is well written and does a good job of grabbing my attention and sparking an interest. Is this a beginning or and end of a longer story? either way, i'd like to read more.
Again, just a brief comment: I really liked this one, too. I may be overly emotional for some reason at this particular moment, but the last part almost made me cry. That's wierd, I know, especially since I don't really know my dad all that well, but it stirred some emotions none the less. very nice. :)
As you know, I am not very experienced in this arena, and therefore I feel that there is not much in the way of specific criticism that I could offer you. However, I did want to say that I very much enjoyed this piece and, as it is the first I've read of yours, am looking forward to more. :)
wow! I'm sure you already know what a great writer you are, so I won't patronize you with my feeble attempts to "critique". Just let me say that this was very moving and vivid. "You were dead and the dead make lousy villains." what an awesome line. That was mt favorite part only because it's so true. a very nice job.
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