Nazeeruddin's profile

Emotionally intense and it has a very personal feel to it. I like the way you have characterized Jada. The episodes between the two sisters really make it more personal. I am somewhat vaguely reminded for Haruki Murakami when I read the way you narrative flows as it relates the personal transitions of the narrator. Even though you have used the first person the story flows. From the perspective of plot its a great start. We have enough conflicts to resolve. The writing career, loneliness, sis...

A very interesting and dramatic beginning.. I was hooked to the end. You use long sentences and though your sentences are long I didn't find them hard to follow. You choice of words is varied and adds great flavor to the story. Its a good first chapter. I am looking forward to reading the next few chapters. One place where I felt slightly uncomfortable: The repeated use of 'it'. You could probably use a name from early on to give the beast more personality. It would also be nice if this beast...

Very allegorical and great rhyme. At once gives the feeling of loneliness and dread. I like how it reads. I specifically enjoyed Lucky losers... their breath. Keep writing! Regards, Ikram

Definitely a talent worth shaping here. A very narrative poem, gave me the feel of the theme. The ideas and emotions are sharp. You can describe much with less words. The story that you wove in feels nice. I like the way you have used enjambment. Do experiment with more themes, feelings and styles. Probably even rhyme, meter and alliteration. But if thats not your style don't worry, its just a suggestion. The creative process is all about exploration. I look forward to more from you. Keep Wri...

There is great action here. Lots of action and drama, I was hooked. However I found it a bit too fast. You have covered a lot of ground in 1200 words. I don't know if this will work for Fantasy. You need to pay more attention to sentence construction and punctuation. However don't feel discouraged. You have a great imagination, work on it. Finally the mythology though related is interesting. I was willing to read on. Hope you write more soon.