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AGE: 24
LOC: Edwardsville, IL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 08

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Poetry / Yelena Tregubova
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
There are vacant battlegrounds on television where the cement of shelled buildings consumed with their dying breaths the bullets of kalishnakovs and fell to the tank treaded ground, Their disemboweled bellies like infants mouths pointed skyward and cried for the attention that the incinerated bodies inside could not offer. The cameras turned away from the husks of houses and focused on the Commander citing victory as the fog around him obscured the numbers of Chechyan Casualties. The soot suf...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
I miss when I was a kid, riding in the backseat of my mother’s Pontiac with my whole family on a trip to the mall. My thoughts focused on the new plastic monstrosities my parents would buy for me from K-Bee. I didn’t have to worry about getting lost behind the wheel, and the sunshine and spring breeze through the automatic windows didn’t bring me back to the broken air conditioner in the apartment, or the missed rent or the abated renovations. I didn’t think about how much gas we had left, or...
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Reviews
Some capitilzation, besides "I" would be nice throuhout the poem. The first stanza seems empty and in need of something more, possibly some kind of descriptive seque into the second stanza. For example, take out the rather stark, cliche sounding "chase away my soul" as well as the line " I think of you when it rains" and add something that combines the idea of echoes and raindrops, vis a vis "Echoes of emotion/ muted, pelting like rain/ on the roof of my darkened room". This way, that "I" sen...
Poetry / Purpose
First of all, I believe that the poem would be better received if every line didn't start out with a capitalization. The lack of punctuation throuhout the poem could easily throw off the reader, as well as look sloppy (believe me, I've done it many times in poems of the past). Example: "This frame of reference/ secret place is no longer sacred" becomes almost bewildering. What exactly is the "frame of reference"? is it the "secret place" being described in this stanza? Is it the frame of refe...
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