NatashaTragedy's profile
AGE:
16
LOC: Newland, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 16
LOC: Newland, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 16
Everybody wants a piece of my world.
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Version 1
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This howling demon is thrashing in my stomach- shoving the obvious up through my esophagus- ready to eliminate jealousy - self-hatred - dejection. The demon suffocates me- in undying attempts to prove how selfish I am-  ...
Version 1
1 Review
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I left you lying in pieces. Cradled the chance to claim synthetic happiness and drained myself of self-control. I strive for the unacheivable while you remain numb. So subtle you seem lifeless. I faced you, and continue to every second I'm without company. Where I could repair, I simply ignore. Ignore your voice, breathing, reason, existence. I trust the cheap attractive surface to bare my treading, though I feel it crack like thin ice with every step in progression. Making me shudder. Makin...
Version 1
11 Reviews
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It happened like a dream. The sequesnce of events and the place.. All of it resembled the stretched truth and lacking reality of a dream. Earth was acting as it should and people were existing like they did and gravity decided to conflict with it’s purpose and snapped. As we lifted our feet to take a step farther, we didn’t set that foot back down. The other foot left the ground and we were all ascending. In this moment, though the sanity wasn’t anywhere around except here, in my own head, I ...
Version 1
2 Reviews
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OBLIVION! Factually unknowing? Disregard? Declining to accept? They stand frail. Their skin tightly retains elements of brokenness from the inside. Underneath scars that part at the seams, renewed in anguish. Reckless lips and tongues like a coarse, jagged blade bore them their wounds. They stand bold in animosity. Dressed in arrogance, imperfectly and comfortably settled in selfishness. Driven by narcissism. Falling from and with grace. They stand unafraid. Prideful and with no shame of thei...
Version 1
9 Reviews
0 Comments
Let's break the surface- Take me all the way under Here, now, show me life
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Reviews
I am in assent with you. Five years old is such a better time that what we know now. I believe my favorite stanza is the last one. It makes me a little sad.
I love this metaphor! It's so true, and so nicely worded!!! I'm interested in reading more of your work. Nothing I can say to help you better this quote or anything of that sort. It's excellent.
Your lack of punctuation almost creates an effect like a rush. Like everything is pouring out all at once, which is what I get from this. Since you are considering changing it, I think you should also keep this original version up also, because it's very well thought out. I enjoyed your words such as 'insistent' and 'torrent'. If you improve this much more it will more than likely be favorited by me. Thanks.
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