NaiveAndWitty's profile

"09:59 One cement colossus storms down; the sky turns black So many off-switched souls – I don’t feel regret I just want to free you from the shaking concrete cage Chief’s lips move; I hear every fifth word:…up…fast…depend…" the above stanza truly has me puzzled; but the rest i somewhat can cipher through. i love how each stanza intensifies. oppose to just mere poetry, i see a great deal of creative writing and abstract thought. the piece is truly awesome.

you obviously have a spiritual thirst deep within you. this poem expresses this. the concept of an angel at the door depicts hope and faith. to be so young, you truly have a gift. the poem is very clear. the poem is very touching. never stop composing.

i love the intro caveat. i also like the poem and all of its sexual undertones. in addition, i like the traditional poetic closing where depicted we see that after all the beauty, the end is a tragic lose. nevertheless, i'm wondering if its the case that you are writing for a targeted audience. that is, and i face this as well, the choice of words will alienate many. that is, not many posses an affluent lexicon. thus, many will feel that the poem is over their head and thus not appreciate the...

"a Sycamore sits sanguinary my respite to foretell." this was the only sentence that lost me. there is definite rhythm and cadence herein. i usually take a disliking to rhyme; but the garden theme and allusions really pulled me in.