NachtXEngel's profile

NachtXEngel avatar
AGE: 19
LOC: Jackson, WY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 04
Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Young Adult / Endings
Version 1
16 Reviews   4 Comments
Little tremors Head throbbing, hands shaking World spinning Everything stops ... Escape so tempting World still spinning Visions blury Cut Pause ... Tiny rivers Flowing down Drip Drip To the floor Slowly ... My hands calm My head still The world on pause Visions clear Falling ... Bleeding out Faster Faster Breathing stopped The End
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / Crimson Regrets
Version 1
20 Reviews   4 Comments
i find you in the darkness my sharp and tiny friend carress my arms with kisses but dont let it be the end frustration with society and troubles with this life you're the only one to forgive me and fill my eyes with light regrets are close and many yet the pain feels just so right look forward to this daily our gentle contact at night with you i press so lightly your edge against my skin hold my breath till rightly i begin my little sin the tears roll down in crimson so pretty deep in my arm ...
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / [Untitled]
Version 1
14 Reviews   4 Comments
Pushing you away With tears in my eyes I let you go I need to heal Your words They are so strong Cutting into me With such a strong hold Almost dying to keep you away I cannot hang on forever When you offered me your hand I gladly took it To let you back into My life I swear honesty to you I won't give up No matter the pain I take You tell me it's worth it That I may be beautiful If only I sacrifice Everything
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / Hurt
Version 1
15 Reviews   9 Comments
You've hurt her Can't you see? Do tears mean nothing? You're killing her One more scream She's out the door Running Fast Away She respected you You misguided her You alone did this Now, she screams in agony How could you? With eyes cast downward Afraid of you You hurt her so bad She never asked for much She wasn't skinny enough? For you? She tried. Really, she did You didn't care... That she was... slowly starving away She's almost gone Almost given up What do you do? You reach out to touch P...
Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity
Reviews
I really like this one. It creates a picture for the reader and is a really nice read.
In my opinion, it moves a little too fast. Or maybe it's just the conversations- the way they take place doesn't seem real to me. Try and slow down a bit... if you can; unless you're trying to make merely a short story. But if not, add in some extra bits. More description. More memories of the night before.... it just seems too casual with all his question- asking. Other than that, wonderful job.
Removed
Poetry / Goodbye Grandma
This really spoke to me, as I can relate to it. The scene is so beautifully set and the language is perfectly written.
Young Adult / One Wish
I really like it. However, you seem to have a problem of forgetting spaces inbetween your words :) Fix that up, and it's great.
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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ITEMS (1)

 

Poetry / Goodbye Grandma

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