Mortimer's profile

Mortimer avatar
AGE: 21
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 18

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Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Short Story / The Day Of The Laundry
Version 1
7 Reviews   2 Comments
I dread every footfall. Three blocks, nothing but that damn squeak, couldn’t even hear the cars any more. This sidewalk, with its diabolical concrete - new sneakers seem to have a chemical reaction the moment they touch this very sidewalk. I think I have a psychopathy. Note to self: remove ear drums with machete. Or tape washcloths to my shoes. My shoulder complains now too. It must sense the approaching relief, but like a screaming brat in a car, it’s not good enough, oh no. You should not h...
Ratings & Rankings
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Wanderer's Awakening
Version 1
3 Reviews   2 Comments
He awoke and knew only cold. The metal he laid upon was icy, piercing his clothes. The air he inhaled was frigid, barely above freezing. But there was also a cold, empty feeling inside him, not a physical feeling but nothingness in his mind. He concentrated, trying to pull something, anything from his head. Like a spark in a dark room something eventually came: Julian. I am Julian, he repeated over and over again, nursing the memory and trying to kindle it into a fire of recollection. Julian...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Drum In My Chest
Version 1
2 Reviews   1 Comment
Sleepless I grumble At noise and light With pillow squeezed to block intakes Though cannot hide dismal mistakes And the drums that thwart my rest Violently I lash out And rise from plush sepulcher Seizing serene clocks with distaste To demolish them with vengeful haste But the drums still mock and jest Advancing frustration clenches With fervent disregard And the mournful peace My scrambles ceased My calm, the drums repressed Panicked I wail Smashing all that might tick To end the cruel noise...
Ratings & Rankings
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Survivor's Guilt
Version 1
5 Reviews   3 Comments
They were all dead. In a single instant all of them perished. They didn’t suffer, except perhaps the pain of their own sins before it happened, but their death was quick. Meaningless and destructive and horrifying, yes, but at least it was quick. Someone with a conscience, some poor bastard who feels grief over all lost life and sees those that are brutally killed as martyrs would take solace in the fact that the troubles of the universe would no longer plague them. A realist might think it ...
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Reviews
Short Story / Trapped Within
Locked
Humor/Satire / KRULOS SITCOM PITCH LIST
Probably the funniest thing I've read/seen in a month. I liked the variations on the alchoholic/demon gag and the random stuff, like 'sugar-tits' and Cheech and Chong. A few of the jokes didn't pan out, like 'FUCK START your head', didn't really find that one funny. Overall though, quite hilarious!
Poetry / Hurt & Confused
Your meaning was very clear, and that may be why I wasn't really into this poem. I like to be shown how the poet feels rather than directly told, if you get my meaning. Your best line was probably "Tangled in a web with an endless pit", though I suspect the last word was selected mostly because it rhymed with shit rather than having a specific feeling, though I could be wrong. Also, using '&' instead of 'and' seems lazy, though if you use it consistently in all your poems I suppose it could b...
Flash Fiction / Tony
Excellent flash fiction, and a great setup for the character, if your goal was to show that Tony was cool under pressure and compassionate, because that is what I saw in him. You also did well describing the situation in so few words. It had a plot, defined characters, a reasonable conclusion - in other words, a good flash.
66.6667% Review Quality (3 Votes)
Flash Fiction / Homecoming
I think what you have is a great 3/4s of a story. You set up your character well, you had me nervous and cringing, so the shock and fear aspect was there. But the end was a bit off. There was a chilling climax and then nothing else, no reaction from Jeff, nothing from the creature except for it grinning (creepy!). I've got no clue what you'd do from there, but it just felt unfinished to me.
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