Monique_Nicole's profile

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AGE: 26
LOC: Binghamton, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 17

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Items
Novel Treatments / Emme
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
Good evening. What ever the time is for you. For me it is night. Nonetheless, greetings. I hope you have a good day. Today I wondered why I was still alive. My friends all have some purpose they are fulfilling. I travel in and out of their minds clandestinely. I attempt to observe and record their process in order to duplicate and personalize it. Unfortunately any notes I take end in demise. One time my dog ate them. Another time there was this big rainstorm. I was just walking down the stree...
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Poetry / Poison
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
His eyes kissed her lips Gentle as a snowflake and sweet as honey His tongue caressed hers in a rhythmic movement This, like other dreams dominated her mind And shackled her thoughts Passion exists somewhere else for her Poison intoxicates her reality Stomach churning memories and decomposed thoughts Ruminate and ferment Nothing is quite as sweet and serene as her history She became a woman without a past And a future without life
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Poetry / Poison
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
His eyes kissed her lips Gentle as a snowflake and sweet as honey His tongue caressed hers in a rhythmic movement This, like other dreams dominated her mind And shackled her thoughts Passion exists somewhere else for her Poison intoxicates her reality Stomach churning memories and decomposed thoughts Ruminate and ("throw up"..i need a word here) Nothing is quite as sweet and serene as her history She became a woman without a past And a future without life
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Poetry / Identity
Version 2
1 Review   1 Comment
It feels like warm blood sailing down your throat As a cold hand grasps your arm And black eyes hypnotize your mind The delicate dance begins inside your body You almost can't believe how easily it is to take someone else's life Their limp body grows heavy in your arms Your power increases as you breath in the fresh breath of new life For days, months even years from that one kill you scower the earth Showing ff your new found identity Until one day you see her Smiling and laughing as if no o...
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Poetry / Untitled
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
It feels like warm blood sailing down your throat As a cold hand grasps your arm And black eyes hypnotize your mind The delicate dance begins inside your body You almost can't believe how easily it is to take someone else's life Their limp body grows heavy in your arms Your power increases as you breath in the fresh breath of new life For days, months even years from that one kill you scower the earth Showing ff your new found identity Until one day you see her Smiling and laughing as if no o...
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Reviews
i like this a lot. i think it succinctly and creatively answers the question.
what i don't understand is the first line and how it relates to the rest of the poem. you will never be alone again, but why? what is it about the rest of the poem that leads us to believe that you will never be alone again. i like this i some of the words seem overdone like epithelium but i like this. i just want to understand why you won't be alone.
Poetry / White Parade
i really don't like this . only because i feel like you were trying too hard to sound poetic. it would work if you gave some concrete insight as to what the poem is about. if it truly is about the color white then liken it to something the reader can relate to. i never give feedback on grammar stuff like that. this was just an overall confusing poem i think needs to be re-worked. i think i see where you are going you just need to paint the picture a little clearer.
i like this poem. i do get a sense of disconnectedness from the lay out. for me, it seems as though the last line in each stanza doesn't belong somehow. again, i am wondering if that was deliberate
Poetry / Self Romance
I think this is good overall. At first, it was a bit confusing what the message was and in a way all the symbolism could have been distilled. It is something I think you need to read more than once to understand.