MoSanchez's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 24
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 24
I’m me.
I love to write.
I love to draw.
I love music of all types.
I love people of all types.
I love life itself and all that comes with it.
If ever someone were in need of a friend, I would be that person.
If ever someone were in need of an ear, I would be that person.
If anyone asked of what I wanted most, I would say everything and nothing at all.
And if they asked why? I would say,
because I’m me.
Items
Version 2
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Eric awoke to the sound of the rain pounding on his second floor loft window. Drenched in sweat and gasping for air, he tried focusing on the clock on the night stand to rid his mind of the horrific images plaguing his sleep for the past three days. They were always the same, his dreams, fire, brimstone, blood, screaming, followed by darkness and finally the harbinger. With his never wavering message, “It will come for you.” Eric sighed deeply and smoothed back his curly black h...
Version 1
4 Reviews
1 Comment
Eric awoke abruptly to the sound of the rain pounding on his second floor loft window. Confused and breathing heavily, he focused on the clock on the night stand to rid his mind of the horrible nightmares that have been plaguing his sleep for the past three days. They were all the same, his dreams, fire and brimstone, blood and screaming, darkness and finally the messenger. His message never changing either, “It will come for you.” Eric sighed deeply and smoothed back his curly b...
Version 2
13 Reviews
0 Comments
MY TWO DADDIES Hi, I’m Tommy. I’m six years old and I have two daddies. Here is my Daddy James. Here is my Daddy Tom. I like Daddy Tom because he has the same name as me. Grandma says I am the luckiest boy in the world because I have two daddies and most people only have one. We are a happy family, and my daddies say that no matter what anyone says, they both love me very much. I’m in Mrs. Hernandez’s kindergarten class at school. She is very nice. At rec...
Version 1
6 Reviews
4 Comments
MY TWO DADDIES Hi, I’m Tommy. I’m six years old and I have two daddies. Here is my Daddy James. Here is my Daddy Tom. I like Daddy Tom because he has the same name as me. Grandma says I am the luckiest boy in the world because I have two daddies and most people only have one. We are a happy family, and my daddies say that no matter what anyone says, they both love me very much. I’m in Mrs. Hernandez’s kindergarten class at school. She is really nice. At recess, Bobby c...
Version 1
7 Reviews
1 Comment
Dry County Thirst. It’s late, about three or four thirty in the morning. He doesn’t really know, nor does he really care. It had happened again. The thirst had overtaken him and now he lay in the dark cold night shivering like a scared puppy. He had passed out. That much he was sure. Opening his eyes just enough to catch a glimpse of his surroundings. He couldn’t see much, and it hurt his eyes to even try to see more. Giving up, he closed his eyes tightly and continued to lay there, comatose ...
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Reviews
I'm not hugely into poetry, but I actually liked the intensity of this poem. I don't know enough to give you any technical critiques, but I did love your choice of words especially with the old-timey speech, so well done!
I definitely found this amusing in a dark, emo sort of way. With some polishing, I think it could be a really good story. Maybe something like a series of short horror stories. I would find another name for Mama, though. That does become a bit redundant after a while. There were some grammar mistakes as well. But overall, I liked it alot.
To me, this story is almost perfect as is. I'm definitely not an expert, especially in grammar; but below are a couple of notes I took while reading it. This line: "spilling over round shoulders and onto the white throat, where white lace frames her slender neck.." I'm thinking you meant, 'onto her white throat'? I'd also try to use a different adjective other than white. You use it twice, back to back in the same sentence, and it could possibly be redundant. "Outside the wind picks up stirri...
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