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MoJoe's profile
AGE:
35
LOC: Joplin, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 05
LOC: Joplin, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 05
I’m a geek at heart. Thank god I’m in love with someone who thinks geeks are sexy. I play video games, cheer like a crazy person for the New Orleans Saints, and work as a reporter covering education at a daily newspaper in southwest Missouri.
They say every journalist has a story inside them, and that’s where it should stay. I’m ignoring that, obviously. It’s fun to write whatever I want to write about, instead of No Child Left Behind and bond elections. I hope to quit the day job one day and be a full-time writer.
I’m also a former editor, so if my reviews seem harsh, I apologize. Tough love, baby… tough love.
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Version 2
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GHOST TALKER, GO STALKER I hate to brag, but I was a pretty good stalker for my first time. Don’t worry, I’m not a psycho. You don’t need to call the cops. I’m not out to rape, sodomize or kill anyone. The only thing I planned to kill was a man’s career. But after following my mark for quite a while, I can understand how a real stalker might look at the world. Maybe he used to date the woman he stalks, or maybe he simply saw her. Something gets in the stalker’s head, and he believes it so str...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
7 Comments
UNTITLED I hate to brag, but I was a pretty good stalker for my first time. Don’t worry, I’m not some psycho who obsessed over a girl for breaking my heart. You don’t need to call the cops. I’m not out to rape, sodomize or kill anyone. The only thing I planned to kill was a man’s career. But after following my mark for quite a while, I can understand how a real stalker might look at the world. Maybe he used to date the woman he stalks, or maybe he simply saw her. Something gets in the stalker...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
The queen of diamonds stared vapidly from Thom’s hand, and it bugged the hell out of him. The red queen’s left eye looked directly at him – an Egyptian eye of Horus staring him down, challenging him. But the queen’s right eye looked off in the distance, like something sparkly had her hypnotized. The cocked eyes made the queen look like a placid cow. He performed the Erdnase color change again: He placed the queen of diamonds on top of the queen of spades and did the secret swap. But when he ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
INTO HIS ART “I appreciate you agreeing to see us this afternoon,” Chief Ted Jasper said to the man across the desk. Dr. Patrick Medford didn’t look like he appreciated Jasper’s visit. He seemed agitated and nervous. Well, I suppose that’s my fault, Jasper thought. He remembered how difficult this was the last time, and had promised him he’d never ask him to do it again. But here he was, breaking his promise and bringing some uptight idiot from the FBI with him. He set a large, flat, leather ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
12 Reviews
0 Comments
BLUE DRESS He rubbed the piece of blue fabric between his fingers. It was the dress...his favorite blue dress. She left it on the bed, next to the note. “Sorry I’ll never wear this for you again.” And like that, she was gone. Still here, but gone. He could still smell her perfume in the bedroom, like she was just here. But she didn’t take any of her things with her. She just left. He remembered the day, years ago, when she bought the dress. It was a dark, cerulean blue, with flurries of light...
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Reviews
~ Several of the quotes have misplaced quotation marks. ~ The story is filled with good, creative touches -- especially the ending. I really liked the statue, particularly. ~ I had problems getting through the opening. I understand your reluctance to tell too many details, because of the things that happen at the end. But the first few paragraphs give me the same feeling as listening to two people talk about something of which I have no idea. I felt left out of the story, in other words. ~ Th...
~ I feel like I should apologize up front: This review is going to be a pig-stickin'. It's all constructive; if you have any questions, please write me and I'd be happy to clarify. ~ I try not to dog on grammar on Urbis. Yet, your run-on sentences are rough reading. And I'm only on page 2. ~ I have no problem reading grisly, violent things. But the uglier a situation is, the more it needs contrast. And that happens through the depth of the characters. Despite all the evil things that happen t...
~ Good opening. ~ I'm on page 9, and I think I'm picking up on what you mentioned in your intro. It's like you're trying to capture her talking, taking down every word verbatim. That's where the run-ons and fragments come from. I hope this helps: I would keep those run-ons at signature moments, where the main character is stating how she feels about something. When she's describing action, leave the run-ons out and tighten up the grammar. ~ Interesting twist on a vampire story. Good job dippi...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
~ Provocative, in more ways than one. You have a gift for writing about sexuality, but I like how you treat the larger issues more subtly. ~ Of course, there's the obvious relation to cybersexual issues of today. And I like how you ignored that debate completely. I like your contrast of a married relationship where the parties are isolated. The sexual aspects add a new dimension to isolation. ~ I don't have a lot to say about your writing style... that means it's really natural, and you've cr...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
~ Great opening. I'd like to see more punch in the first sentence, but the first 'graf is great. ~ Coffallo. That's boss. ~ I'm only on page six, and I can tell you have a gift for relevant non sequiter. Oxymoronic, I know. I don't know how else to describe the different directions you take. This is definitely an indirect route through curvy mountains. ~ Page 13, where you say who really slept with Mary's husband: Is this part necessary? You concentrate so wonderfully on Mary through the whol...
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