MisterP's profile

MisterP avatar
AGE: 47
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 18

I have two passions in my life; one is writing and the other is food.
My personal heaven would be a place where I could combine them.

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Reviewer Stats
Items
Novel Treatments / Witch! chapter 2
Version 1
1 Review   2 Comments
2 The freezing wind came howling off the North Sea baring vicious teeth. It rushed over hedge and wall driving life out of all living things. It drove snow up the estuary of the River Stour to the town of Manningtree and slammed frozen flakes onto every surface that got in the way. It scythed round the houses, cutting through cracks and gaps, making the flames on tallow candles shiver and shrink. Christ’s Mass of 1644 had been celebrated barely two weeks earlier and yet the winter got w...
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Query Letter / Cape Crusader
Version 1
9 Reviews   2 Comments
Dear Laurence Outlined below is my second novel, Cape Crusader, that I would like you to consider representing. Cape Crusader is a blend of history, action and comedy; Young Winston with generous pinches of Bond and Bean. It is a mixture of fact and fiction and is the second volume in a series I am writing. The book is set in 1899 at the zenith of Empire and takes the reader from England to Cape Town in what was then called Cape Province. From there we travel by train across the Great Karoo ...
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Novel Treatments / Cairo to Khartoum
Version 1
3 Reviews   5 Comments
Dear Susanna Outlined below is my first novel Cairo To Khartoum that I would like you to consider representing. Cairo To Khartoum is a blend of history, action and comedy; Young Winston with generous pinches of Bond and Bean. The book is set in 1898 at the height of Empire and takes the reader across the Mediterranean, up the Nile and across the baking sands of the Sudan with General Kitchener as he prepares for the decisive battle against the Dervish Horde at Omdurman. Into this arena are th...
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Opportunities
Version 1
22 Reviews   11 Comments
My life laid bare in ink
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Opportunities
Version 1
22 Reviews   14 Comments
My life ripped open by ink
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Opportunities
Reviews
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Ohh Wulver-Chpt 6 with recap
'We’re apart of the same world' - this is not possible either physically or grammatically. 'Life is so unfair' - beware the cliché!! This chapter feels like a catch up for the reader, an opportunity for the writer to stop, think and let the reader know where they are. What's more I'm coming 6 chapters in and reading cold. The overriding verbal image I walk away with is the name Audi, whih reminds me of the car manufacturer.
A limerick should contain just four lines. This reads more like protest poetry. For me this doesn't work as a limerick but as a piece of political satire it does.
Novel Treatments / Chapter 16 Summer Moves On
'had stopped It was' - missing a full stop 'I DON”T see' - I'm not sure emphasising don't is necessary. I will admit not having read any previous chapters so I will comment on what is written here. The style is fluid and engaging with the reader as one half of the conversation, though I would have liked more 'real' dialogue between your characters if only to add breaks into the greater conversation. But then I have come in at an advanced stage in the story.
Flash Fiction / How to make sex.
The short staccato sentences with missing words makes for an interesting if fractured read which set me wondering whether English was your first language. The tenses in the sentences shift occasionally from past to future, but I think most people are guilty of that until the second or third draft. The description of the power stations failing was great but it got me to focus on the machine rather than the characters and, for me at least, took something away from an otherwise interesting piece...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Quarterly Summary 2
If only my life was as interesting as yours! Inspired and very funny. More please.
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ITEMS (5)