Mika's profile

Mika avatar
AGE: 17
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 30

I’m Mika.  I love to write and hopefully one day will get either a novel or collection of short stories published.  A goal for me would be to be a part time writer when I’m older.  Don’t know if I’d ever make it as a full time writer what with bills to pay and such, but that would be my  heaven.  

“Writing is an escape from reality that can take you beyond hopes and dreams.”
     -Anonymous

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Reviewer Stats
Items
Short Story / The Broken Swan
Version 2
4 Reviews   2 Comments
The clouds were dark and crowded together, indistinguishable from one another. Rain beat against the sky light with the pitter patter of point shoes in a bourree. Annabelle closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to imagine herself standing out alone against the storm dancing her solo from Swan Lake. She went through each movement in exactly how she had danced it over and over before. Finally, when the last movement stilled, she came out of her reverie. Looking around Annabelle observe...
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Short Story / The Broken Swan
Version 1
2 Reviews   2 Comments
The clouds were dark and crowded together, undifferentiable from one another. Rain beat against the sky light with the pitter patter of point shoes in a bourree. Annabelle closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to imagine herself standing out alone against the storm dancing her solo from Swan Lake. She went through each movement in exactly how she had danced it over and over before. Finally, when the last movement stilled, she came out of her reverie. Looking around Annabelle observed...
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Version 2
6 Reviews   6 Comments
Some sights are better left unseen. Is it the horror of a body abandoned, In a mutilated state inflicted? The vision of an African orphan Waiting for an unmerciful release? Mayhap even the picture of one left In a state without love to grasp? People say, Some sights are better left unseen. I ask myself, Do I wish never to have glimpsed The fear and shame on my sister’s face, Nor the unnatural splashes of the white water From the dishes she’d been washing As my father struck he...
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Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
Some sights are better left unseen. Is it the horror of a body abandoned, In a mutilated state inflicted? The vision of an African orphan Waiting for an unmerciful release? Mayhap even the picture of one left In a state without love to grasp? People say, Some sights are better left unseen. I ask myself, Do I wish never to have glimpsed The fear and shame on my sister’s face, Nor the unnatural splashes of the white water From the dishes she’d been washing As my father struck h...
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Version 1
11 Reviews   0 Comments
“So, tomorrow Jims, you in or not?” Lee’s words broke into Jimmy’s slightly glazed thoughts. He and a couple other guys were relaxing in Lee’s basement, listening to Timberland and passing around a joint. Giving a lazy smile, Jimmy watched as Lee sucked in a large whiff of smoke. The way he stuck out his lower jaw and scrunched up his freckle coated nose made him look like a monkey. It didn’t help that Lee had a slight unibrow and a mop of black hair. He let out a loud yawn as he passed the j...
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Reviews
Short Story / One Man Vs. The World
-"as though it was inflicted " were instead of was -"pondering the next good" his next -"no one really knows" capitalize -"when hes around " apostrophe, he's -"though he doesnt" doesn't Ok, that's five grammarish things, so the rest you can proofread yourself. This sounds like a modern Jesus. I'm not sure if that's what you wanted, but it does. I liked how you used cliches to your advantage and thought your descriptions were very thorough and well done. I liked the way you went from one thing...
"He is a scruffy, tall, athletically, " athletic. "17yr old teenager" write out year "She is a Small," no capital needed "posture and demeanor and good looks. " use a comma instead of the first 'and' 2nd paragraph, you say, Jake this, Jake that, Jake Jake Jake. Try varying the way you describe him, instead of simply listing things. Ok, it's more than the second paragraph. You need to work on flow and changing the sentences up a bit. I feel like I'm being read a list of all the details of his ...
Poetry / sope creek mill
Locked
Interesting, most probably very controversial. I would have read on, except that I'm the type of person who gets easily distracted by grammar and spelling, so I won't put myself through that. Also, the flow is a bit choppy. I think the perspective you are taking is fairly original and definitely has potential to expand into a great story. I would change up your sentence structure as well, instead of always saying, He this, and He that. Throw in some transitions, etc. Good luck! Mika
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Haiku/Senryu / Seasonal Elements
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