Middrift101's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Omaha, NE
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 27
LOC: Omaha, NE
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 27
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
Just one more cut... you think that's all it will take. Just one more and everything will be alright. You look at your wrists it's like a bracelet of scars. Wow.. you think, have I really done that many? Have I really been that oblivious to what I've done? To everything around me? How many time before have you said "just one more cut, just one last one?" It'll stop you think. It can't go on forever, one day there will be a day were the sun begins to shine. It can rain all the time. But how fa...
Version 1
4 Reviews
1 Comment
Tears of blood fall to the floor as you look at your wrists. Your wrists are crying, like you just did. You cried because you know something is going to happen, something that you know you don't like. You know what it is and you wish that it was just a bad dream. A dream that you could just wake up from. Something seeming tangible but when you wake up it just becomes a memory that will one day be forgotten. But this thing you know is bad. You know you will lose someone close to you. As you fe...
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Staring in the darkness of everlasting night, looking for the light. There, in the corner I see a shattered mirror. In the mirror I see the many images of my matted hair, tattered clothes, and battered body. The only way to the light is to face the darkness. In the brightest light lies the darkest night. I look once more at the shattered mirror and realize that it reflects not only my image buy my memories. My memories of my scattered childhood, memories of my shattered past. Should I wish to...
Version 3
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Shadows skitter across the walls as darkness settles on the town and the moon begins to rise. "Never fear the dark son." his mother used to tell him, but she didn't know what he knew. She doesn't know that the branches scraping the windows is actually Death tapping on the window, beckoning him. She doesn't know the wind blowing is actually the ghost's whispered promises of torture and sorrow. As the moon's bright light sends the shadows scittering across the room, he sees the spiders and thei...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Staring in the darkness of everlasting night, looking for the light. There, in the corner I see a shattered mirror. In the mirror I see the many images of my matted hair, tattered clothes, and battered body. The only way to the light is to face the darkness. In the brightest light lies the darkest night. I look once more at the shattered mirror and realize that it reflects not only my image buy my memories. My memories of my scattered childhood, memories of my shattered past. Should I wish to...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
The prologue is pretty depressing. However, I find it accurate in many ways. People do lie very often, and the believe that a little lie is less of a misdeed then a big lie, but it is true that a lie is a lie no matter how big. For the rest of it I get randomly confused and lost as to who is talking and what's going on, I don't know if it's just me, or what, but overall it is very exciting and I hope to read more.
Overall it was an enthralling story, and other then the use of language that may be considered fairly offensive I think that it was well written. I'm not saying that you have to watch what you say, I'm only saying that it may attract some negative feedback, and some negative remarks. On to a publisher I think that you may stand a good chance of finding a publisher but I'm not sure it'll be the first time.
This is really quite an interesting story you have going. It intrigues me and I look forward to seeing more of this story. I'm trying to find something to give you criticism on and I can't think of anything. I have one question however, is there some kind of problems that she experiences for lacking her tail?
I gave you a lower score on the publishable part because I think I would need more to decide whether it would stand a chance. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a publisher, but I think that the more you submit like this the more it will go up. It was a great chapter and it kept me amused, and made me as a few questions that I would like to see answered at a later date. Overall it was great, keep it up mate.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People





