Melissa's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Phoenix, AZ
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: February 02
LOC: Phoenix, AZ
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: February 02
Hey, my name’s Melissa, I’m a junior in high school and an aspiring novelist. As you can see, my focus is on an unfinished novel called Dreamweaver. The book is focused towards a young adult audience, as I have first-hand knowledge of the fact that we have very little to read. I hope you’ll find some entertainment in the ramblings of a bored Chem student, scribbling down a story on the never-failing pretense of taking notes.
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Version 1
5 Reviews
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I have no idea how I managed to sleep that night. Amirra and I spoke little, but lay side by side, afraid to venture out by ourselves. All I know is one minute I was staring up into the endless grey that stretched overhead, and the next Amirra was shaking me awake. I opened my eyes to see her leaning over me and, past her, a clear blue sky. The first thought I had was that I hadn’t dreamed. Wonderful, I’d traded my nightmare for reality. The second was the realization that there was no way t...
Version 1
0 Reviews
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It was raining. No, it was pouring. Great fountains of rain and ice cascaded down on Amirra and I, waking us into a sputtering confusion as would an upturned bucket of water. That is, if the bucket was the size of Texas. "What's going on?" I yelled, struggling to be heard over the howling wind. "I'm not sure..." Amirra called back sarcastically, "But I'm pretty sure there's a storm." I rolled my eyes, standing up to view what I could of the area. What I saw was more than daunting. All around ...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
A grave is a very dull place to be. In a small wooden cage, six feet of packed earth below the surface, the senses are dulled. No mourner’s cry, no whisper nor howl of wind may penetrate to these hellion depths to commune with the rotting ears of the dead. Within a few days the smell of damp earth, combined with that of your own rotten flesh become uniform, all but imperceptible. Dust coats your tongue, filling your throat in a slow suffocation, and sight… sight is but a dream. The sun’s powe...
Version 1
20 Reviews
0 Comments
Of course, at first I didn’t know it was a goddess, all I knew was that suddenly there was an incredibly tall woman standing in a pool of moonlight, wearing flowing white robes and bare feet. Amirra now stood beside me looking puzzled. I stood, dumbfounded. She spoke up. “Who are you? What’s going on here?” The goddess laughed a musical laugh that sounded like a chorus of voices rather than a single one. “Don’t you know?”—she didn’t wait for a reply but continued on.—“I am Selene, goddess of ...
Version 1
27 Reviews
0 Comments
A swarming fog crept through the crisp night air. I was standing at the edge of a very small, deserted lake, the black waters so still beneath the gathering mist it looked as if a piece of the starless sky had fallen to the earth. The full moon rested directly above it, a huge orb illuminating the scene before me. It was so peaceful. I didn’t even mind that I was alone, until, quite suddenly, I wasn’t. There was a young woman, a girl even, standing atop the water on the other end of the lake....
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Reviews
Wow, that was awfully good. I couldn't find anything grammatically wrong, and the plotline was perfect. I liked that you put "brother" as a quirk of John's, it added new dimension to the character. However, the amount it was used was almost bothersome, although that may have been what you were going for. Overall a wonderful story, and a very powerful ending.
Well done. Very creative names, and writing as if in the past is always a challenge. I'm excited to read more, keep it up!
That was a really impressive piece of work, especially since you say it's your first ghost story. The plot and characters were very well developed, however your dialogue was a bit stiff. Fiction in general tends to have dramatic, somewhat cliche dialogues, so it's an easy trap to fall into. Just be sure to put yourself in the character's shoes, ask yourself what you would say in that situation to your friends or family, it'll appear far more realistic if you do, and won't distract the reader ...
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