beautiful..i love the imagery....keep it up!

You have a beautiful talent for writing first of all. Your description and detail to the movement of the plot are incredible. I also enjoyed the cultural knowledge that you have shown in this piece. Very well done and I cannot wait to read more of your work! Keep it up

this is very well-written. nice job with the detail in the directional movement of the plot. I also like how you made the story very real to life. very emotional, very alive. you can tell that you have a lot of potential as a screenplay writer. I nejoyed it very much and hope to read more!

very nice imagery :) love it

i love it...very emotional...very vivid with the imagery :) keep it up

love the imagery. great

SPONGE BOB SQUAREPANTS...ok sorry first thing i thought of when i read this. all sponges need thanks in life...kudos dear