LynnFollett's profile
AGE:
39
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 18
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 18
I am a novice writer and would love to be able to publish this novel I am also looking for an editor as I am slightly dyslesic and dysbrasic.
I mainly write Fanfic and I have been told that I portray the characters to their true selves as they are on tv or in a movie. I have had some of my short storys published in a college magazine.
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*CHAPTER THREE* *Nineteen fifty eight* I was sixteen the next time I saw her. She'd sent me a Telegram on ahead asking me to meet her at the Airport. It was a school day, so I decided to skip it, as I'd rather spend the day with Lisa. I hardly recognized her when I saw her, she'd changed a lot, her blonde hair was shorter "Jason?." she asks, walking over to me. "One and only" "My God! how you've grown." I'd grown at least three foot since she last saw me, my head almost reached her shoulders...
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Version 1
29 Reviews
1 Comment
*CHAPTER FIVE* *Nineteen Sixty Seven* In sixty Seven I was barely eighteen years old when the General's invaded Vietnam and Johnson issued The Draft. I was a wild rebellious teenager with long hair and a demonstrator with an arrest record. My Mom and I hardly spoke these days but when my draft card arrived it was hardly a surprise. "You have to go we can't afford to pay the money to keep you out of prison" I was afraid for the first time in my life I was terrified. Terrified of never seeing ...
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The first few pages of a story are the most important. They need to contain the setting, and the character introduction. These pages contain both, although a little vague as to what will happen in the next chapter. I have written children's tales before and usually leave the finished page with a cliff hanger. Kids love suspence, as do adults, a kid will get bored if the story isn't entertaining enough with adventure. Your work does need editing, as you say. I enjoyed reading your character in...
Not sure what your intentions are for this. If it is to keep a writers spirits up so to speak then it's a pretty good piece of writing. If it's for advice there are some spelling errors. For instance you have my work is better then that. The line should read. My work is better than that. Apart from that I found it clear and easy to read and the tone was pleasent.
Okay, if it is a poem why is it posted in action and adventure when there is a poetry section? Only a couple of errors watch for capital letters but otherwise good work.
Okay. The story just went straignt in there or so it seemed to me. First off you need to introduce the setting of your novel, this part seemed to be in the middle of your adventure. I think it would be a good adventure story for teenagers because of your character's names. I seem to remember the name Shiri from somewhere a long time ago. Keep working at it I did like the young boys name of Shadow it sounds interesting. I would like to see what happens to your characters with the interesting n...
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