Wow, this sounds so depressing. Sounds like the words of a very young writer who has faced many a disappointment. It is not artistic just very depressing and lacks experience.

I like it. Sounds like it comes from the lips of experience. I like the tone it sets for the one in Sadistic skin, the same one who lies when he grins. Tragic ending though, for "Birds need wings to fly- like dreams."

I found it to be too wordy but not enough substance. It is a turn off to read and find that the spell check was maybe used but in a haphazard way because in the first paragraph where it reads..."It's ready to accept us on a preferable terms and independent from ours desires conditions." That makes absolutely no sense. Is it "It's ready to accept us on preferable terms and independent from our desired conditions?" That would make more sense to me.

Very nice job! Best wishes for your continued silent lucidity.

The use of the word pussy and dick kind of distracts one from the moral of the story. One minute you are talking of stealing Gems then you are ending with Byron Gems was on trial for his life. So I was not very clear on whether this was serious or not. I apologize if I didn't quite follow.

I found it entertaining. It is very clear and allows others into a very private space in your heart. Leaves room for others to empathize or relate to.

I enjoyed it. I just wonder are the pearly beads your tears?

This kind of rhymes. So that makes it easy to read for a young audience. Has potential.

This did capture my attention and was very good of holding it. I like the subject and vision. Very creative.