Lofty's profile

AGE: 20
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 17

Greetings and salutations! I’m Laura, aka Lofty, and I’m 19 and live in Southport. I did my a levels and went to university but despised it so now i’m working at William Hill bookmakers. I’m on good money, I enjoy my job and I’m starting a new course in September at uni so everything seems to be going well.
I find myself quite funny so most of my postings are humourous ones but I have written a fair bit of poetry so a few bits and bobs of those may appear on here at some point.
I’m not sure what else to say apart from if you want to know any more or if you want to tell me I am seriously unfunny and to shut the F**k up then feel free to message me and ask/tell.

Show

Item Stats

Show

Reviewer Stats

Items

Version 1

2 Reviews 0 Comments

Me: do you know who George Best was? My sister: I'm not completely retarded you know. He was in the Beatles

Humor/Satire - Overall

Version 1

1 Review 0 Comments

Me:... you;ve never heard of doctor Watson? My sister: (thinking intently) I've heard of Wotsits

Humor/Satire - Overall

Version 1

2 Reviews 0 Comments

My sister: (randomly) why would anyone need a carpet in the desert? Me: what? My sister: in the desert. I never knew they had carpets. Me: what are you talking about? My sister: in Jesus times. Joseph. He was a carpenter and I never knew they had carpets. Me: you have seriously lost me My sister: UH! Carpenters make carpets!

Humor/Satire - Overall

Version 1

9 Reviews 1 Comment

At some point in all of our lives, we have all said things that we shouldn’t have. I know I have. However, I am one of those people who seems to say these things when there’s an audience, or more precisely, a congregation. I was about 5 or 6 and we were at church on mothering Sunday and it was the usual mother's day service, thanking our mums and praising them and all that jazz. Then the vicar did a sort of question and answer session, in a kind of Jeremy Kyle/Jerry Springer way, but with a l...

Humor/Satire - Overall

Version 1

10 Reviews 0 Comments

When it comes to body piercing, why is it that the majority of people who go for a naval piercing are exactly the people who should never be allowed to expose said body part as doing so is a blatant crime against humanity?

Humor/Satire - Overall