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Lirpastar's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Tallahassee, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 01
LOC: Tallahassee, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 01
Hi fellow writers! I am an aspiring writer of materials for children and young adults. I am interested in meeting others with similar interests. For my real job, I work at a community college as a Writing Specialist in the Writing Center.
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Two Left Feet “Attention boys and girls, attention. I need you to be quiet so that I can give out the parts for this year’s fourth grade variety show,” Mrs. Ogglestein announced to the class. Hannah had been dreading the fourth grade variety show for two years; ever since she watched her older sister Lacey gets oodles of applause for her ballet routine. Lacey was graceful and had rhythm. Hannah had two left feet. Everyone knew that, including Hannah’s teachers, who usually let her get away wi...
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Version 1
8 Reviews
0 Comments
To Katie from Max Chapter 1 “He should have been home over an hour ago! Where is he?” I asked my mother. I had been sitting impatiently on the front porch waiting for Dad’s old blue rusty truck to pull in the driveway. I had taken the cordless phone outside so that I could answer it if Dad called to give us any news. The phone hadn’t rung all day long. Mom told me to take it as good news. “No news is good news,” she said, trying unsuccessfully to comfort me. She said it with a hopeful smile, ...
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This poem about friendship is very relatable. I think most people have friendships that sort of ebb and flow and fall apart and come together. Having them end up as druggies together is definitely an interesting twist.
This poem was very interesting to me and made me think, although I admit, I didn't completely understand what you were getting at....but maybe that was your point? I got a little confused about the sister and the uncle. Is this poem about incest perhaps? The "This is a freakshow" line kind of makes me think it is. I also don't understand the last line, "Kill that rent-a-car, son! Kill it!" I really like how the line "crowning achievement seems to have a double meaning here...very clever!" I g...
I really like how you are able to describe the emotions of the people at the pride parade. They seem childlike, yet they are expressing their sexuality which may often be hidden from the world. I think that your use of imagery is fantastic. I especially liked the phrase "sexy sandwich." I also think that framing it into a movie scene really worked here.
For lyrics, these are nice....but I couldn't mark high on the other categories because I don't think really fit into an anthology or book. I could see this as a religious song sung in church on a Sunday morning or even in a children's church program. The lyrics do flow quite nicely together. I can almost imagine the acoustic guitar in the back. The ending image of the streets being paved with Gold is a very nice ending.
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