Lillie_M's profile

Lillie_M avatar
AGE: 28
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 15

Well I don’t want to drone on so I’ll keep it short and sweet.

I’m 27 years old, from London and just here to get as many constructive comments as I can. I do believe that the day I stop learning, I might as well die so I am definitely on here to help my knowledge grow.

I won’t say too much about my day to day life as it’s fairly boring! But I will tell you that writing is one of the few things that I adore.  It helps keep me sane! Right now I’m just trying to find out if I’m any good at it!

Have been on Urbis for a while but am just realising the real benefits of the site.  Love the fact we are all just word lovers who want to help and if we’re lucky, learn from each other.  

I am currently working on a couple of pieces.  Wh…

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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Chasing Faces - Chapter Eight
Version 1
4 Reviews   1 Comment
Chapter Eight. Cara had no idea how long she would be able to contain the emotions that were boiling up inside her. Her head felt fit to burst from all the words that were flying around her mind. For such a long time she had fought to keep her focus and maintain some level of control beneath all this pressure. But just like any volcano, eventually it had to blow, killing all sounds of life in its path. Her breath was rapid and she could feel sweat collecting at the nape of her neck. This was ...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Chasing Faces - Chapter Seven
Version 1
2 Reviews   5 Comments
Chapter Seven. It was surprisingly wonderful weather for the first Saturday of September. It was already twenty-seven degrees and according to GMTV’s Welsh meteorologist, Sian Lloyd; there was more of this sunshine to come. Although, whether that would be just for a day or for a whole month; it remained to be seen. Natalie was keeping her fingers crossed it would be the latter of the two. She had managed to leave the house before her parents had got back from their fortnightly shopping ...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Chasing Faces - Prologue
Version 1
4 Reviews   3 Comments
The blood had started to turn his blue cotton shirt and ugly purple. There were three slash marks where the stainless steel kitchen knife had pierced his skin. The material that was left was now heavy with a mixture of blood and sweat. She tried to take a step back, away from the body. But she lost her balance, tripping over a heavy cream rug, landing on her arse with a heavy thud. Although it wasn’t as loud, as when his sixteen stone body had hit the floor. She was still holding it in ...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Chasing Faces - Chapter Six
Version 1
3 Reviews   6 Comments
Chapter Six. He went over the plan for the day as he shaved in front of the mirror in his en-suite bathroom. Dec knew all the tasks on his list and he was aiming to get them all done, as quickly as possible. The last thing he needed to do was draw attention to himself, though he knew how hard that was, looking as he did. He would be the first to admit that being handsome had its benefits but like with anything good, it also had its downfalls. He rinsed the shaving foam residue from his chisel...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Chasing Faces - Chapter Five
Version 1
3 Reviews   3 Comments
She ignored her phone as it danced silently, across the glass coffee table. She didn’t have to look at the screen; she already knew who it was. The same person that had been calling all morning, although Cara thought they would have given up by now. It was just past midday and the phone had been busy for the past three hours. Her phone had been on silent since she had been caught of guard and answered the first call, when she was in bed earlier that morning. He had even tried calling fr...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Where Wolf-Axel Thomas
Good character development there Kev, gives us a good insight into the roles they will all play later. I like the relationship between him and Denise although I was a little dissappointed he took her van knowing what it meant to her. But I suppose it shows the power that side of him has over his actions. But I'm excited to read on, it's quite a bit different from your other stuff but I like that. I'm interested to see how Axel, Kay and Cavil work together. But they all seem like strong, hones...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Where Wolf-Ch2 /recap
They were divorcing - They had been I really like this chapter, you've managed to make their relationship no different to any other. The more dominant partner and the passive needy one. Ironically the needy one is the one with the talent and a world waiting at his feet. It's different from your previous stuff but I like that, shows your versatility. There is definitely more emotion and feeling in this one.
I thought this was beautiful, with wonderful imagery. So good, I even read it to my mum! You capture emotions in such a mature way, lines like 'I whispered to your essence' just drew me in and reminded me of times I felt like that. You did a brilliant job.
Young Adult / Twisted: Chapter 1
whip out witty comebacks like I’m Erin Brockovich on steroids - nice line I prefer this to the previous version (from what I remember of it). I think there's a lot more detail in here and definitely more imagery. This is gonna sound so girly but if I was facing my fears and my biggest enimies I would want to look my best, not 'a horrible, poufy knee-length floral number'. If she's brave enough to face them, I want her to be a fighter and go down all guns blazing. Other than that, I still like...
Novel Treatments / Oil & Water, Chapter 1
Overall as a first chapter it does work, you've introduced your main characters and we know enough about them to care. I don't think we needed a synopsis, it took the mystery away, we already know what was going to occur. It didn't put me off, but it meant I had that in my head while I was reading. I would have much preferred to read the piece without it. I didn't find it boring per se, but I do wonder where the story can go. This type of scenario has been used so many times before, I think y...