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Lady's profile
AGE:
61
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 06
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 06
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Version 1
47 Reviews
4 Comments
Big brown eyes look up at me They don’t know really what they see. I’m not a goddess, sweet and calm I’m just a human, just his Mom. He’s only four years old today. I watch him run around and play. I tell him he’s my little man. He thinks I know more than I can. Now he’s twelve, and he’s so smart. I wonder when he’s going to start To realize that grownups won’t Always know what children don’t. Now he’s grown up. And he still Believes that parents can and will Do whatever they’ve desired. He d...
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I really like this. It does capture this loving moment, and the reader is able to jump in for a moment, and be one of the two participants, in love and insecure. The last words, "came true" are reminiscent of the purpose of every fairy tale, which all our dreams are supposed to do.
Very moving. The images of the lone kite and the parade of vendors were excellent in portraying the emotions of the poem. "The blanket for two remained half-empty" is great. The theme of games was consistent, from "secretly longed for you to find me" (like a game of hide-go-seek)and "stuck in this tug of war". In the end, the fact that "going to" this person was still the highight of your day -- we have all been there. You are still hooked on this person, but they are no longer entranced with...
I am not terribly familiar with the technical requirements for Haiku, or its purpose. However, this one does make sense, and has the required number of syllables.
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