AGE:
16
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 12
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 12
Well, I’ve been on Urbis since it was first getting started, and seen it grow so much! In fact, my best friend’s uncle made this site, and I’ve loved it since the beginning.
I’m definitely an artistic person, in many ways. I love drawing, painting, photography, and of course, writing.
I think that it would be amazing to publish one of my “works” someday. I should warn you, I can be vague in my writing, so use your imagination. I’m open to any criticism, and also any compliments ;).
Enjoy!
Items
Version 1
7 Reviews
3 Comments
Obituary: died from explosion of creativity.
Version 1
8 Reviews
3 Comments
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? It's the kind of love that makes you feel nauseous, all the time, especially when you realize you've been thinking about that person for over an hour. Then when you're around that person, you always manage to be nonchalant about everything: No, I don't care if you want me to stay. Do you want me to stay? No, I don't mind running extra errands with you. Do you mind? Sure, it's fine if we go bungee jumping off a cliff. I've got nothing better t...
Version 1
20 Reviews
6 Comments
Inspiration, action, addiction; lather, rinse, repeat.
Version 3
10 Reviews
2 Comments
What was it like to have to fight such a powerful disease? To be on the brink, to swim or to sink, to feel one final breeze. Kept alive by machines, you know what it means to have to stand on the edge. Whether or not you wanted that spot, you were forced onto a ledge. I can surely relate to that dreadful fate, but you were taken away. So now here I suffer, pushed to be tougher, and all I can do is pray. You see me still here, shaking in fear; you know I can't do this alone. Could you do me a ...
Version 2
6 Reviews
0 Comments
What was it like to have to fight such a powerful disease? To be on the brink, to swim or to sink, to feel one final breeze. Kept alive by machines, you know what it means to have to stand on the edge. Whether or not you wanted that spot, you were forced onto a ledge. I can surely relate to that dreadful fate, but you were taken away. So now here I suffer, pushed to be tougher, and all I can do is pray. You see me still here, shaking in fear; you know I can't do this alone. Could you do me a ...
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Reviews
I especially liked the last stanza - the final line caught me off-guard, in the good way. =] This was pretty short, for my taste, but still very good. It seems that you started with a rhyme scheme, but by the second stanza it was gone. If you try to make the whole thing have a rhyme scheme, be careful that you don't make it rhyme too hard, if you know what I mean. I like the questions in this piece; it makes the reader think and wonder the same things. Overall, I think it's good - the rhyming...
Wow, this really is very intriguing to me. It definitely caught (and kept) my attention the whole way through. It's amazing how many different ways you can show that you love someone. This has beautiful, beautiful imagery, I love it. You had a constant rhyme theme, which is always nice. All I can suggest is to break it up a bit - it's a lot to swallow when it's one big paragraph. Great, great work. Thank you for sharing it with me.
This was an interesting story. It held my attention, but I have to say that I was a bit unsatisfied at the end - there were so many questions asked and no answers. Of course, it does leave a lot to the reader's imagination, and it leaves lots of room open for a "part 2" or even to just expand on this story. There were a couple typos (ex: "Her _expression"; "lady’s _expression"), which is no big deal. To me, it was kind of strange how the story started out very innocent, but by the end it beca...
I absolutely love the irony. I'm sure many others, as well as myself, can read this and say, "me too". It really captures a hard truth, which is that so many people have so much talent, but not enough of them get to be seen. It's definitely one of the more clever six-word memoirs I've read. Great job!
This gave me the chills, for a couple reasons. The obvious reason being the fact that it appears that the character has been buried alive, but also because it's very good. You have some great thoughts in here, such as the part about living forever or becoming nothing. As for mistakes, there were a couple of times where there were no periods, and once where there was two. Also, "than" needs to be "then" in the case of: "And than A shovel full of dirt falls", and the very last sentence (which, ...
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