AGE:
17
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 15
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 15
Well, I’ve been on Urbis since it was first getting started, and seen it grow so much! In fact, my best friend’s uncle made this site, and I’ve loved it since the beginning.
I’m definitely an artistic person, in many ways. I love drawing, painting, photography, and of course, writing.
I think that it would be amazing to publish one of my “works” someday. I should warn you, I can be vague in my writing, so use your imagination. I’m open to any criticism, and also any compliments ;).
Enjoy!
Items
Version 1
7 Reviews
3 Comments
Obituary: died from explosion of creativity.
Version 1
11 Reviews
7 Comments
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? It's the kind of love that makes you feel nauseous, all the time, especially when you realize you've been thinking about that person for over an hour. Then when you're around that person, you always manage to be nonchalant about everything: No, I don't care if you want me to stay. Do you want me to stay? No, I don't mind running extra errands with you. Do you mind? Sure, it's fine if we go bungee jumping off a cliff. I've got nothing better t...
Version 1
20 Reviews
6 Comments
Inspiration, action, addiction; lather, rinse, repeat.
Version 3
11 Reviews
3 Comments
What was it like to have to fight such a powerful disease? To be on the brink, to swim or to sink, to feel one final breeze. Kept alive by machines, you know what it means to have to stand on the edge. Whether or not you wanted that spot, you were forced onto a ledge. I can surely relate to that dreadful fate, but you were taken away. So now here I suffer, pushed to be tougher, and all I can do is pray. You see me still here, shaking in fear; you know I can't do this alone. Could you do me a ...
Version 2
6 Reviews
0 Comments
What was it like to have to fight such a powerful disease? To be on the brink, to swim or to sink, to feel one final breeze. Kept alive by machines, you know what it means to have to stand on the edge. Whether or not you wanted that spot, you were forced onto a ledge. I can surely relate to that dreadful fate, but you were taken away. So now here I suffer, pushed to be tougher, and all I can do is pray. You see me still here, shaking in fear; you know I can't do this alone. Could you do me a ...
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Reviews
I love your alliterations and word play ("pours" and "pores") - very clever! You've really got the feeling of love down - the goods and bads. The last stanza I especially liked because honestly the last line threw me off and surprised me (in the good way). The whole thing kept my attention, and my only disappointment was that it wasn't long enough. Great work!
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. You have the most amazing metaphors and imagery, it truly is amazing. This is also very sweet, and I love how it tells a story through emotions, rather than just stating a bunch of feelings - it makes it interesting. I also love the word "foreverness." The only thing I can suggest is to put it into stanzas; however, I do like the kind of rushy feeling to it, considering this piece is very intense. Also, you could put in periods to let readers know where one th...
I especially liked the last stanza - the final line caught me off-guard, in the good way. =] This was pretty short, for my taste, but still very good. It seems that you started with a rhyme scheme, but by the second stanza it was gone. If you try to make the whole thing have a rhyme scheme, be careful that you don't make it rhyme too hard, if you know what I mean. I like the questions in this piece; it makes the reader think and wonder the same things. Overall, I think it's good - the rhyming...
Wow, this really is very intriguing to me. It definitely caught (and kept) my attention the whole way through. It's amazing how many different ways you can show that you love someone. This has beautiful, beautiful imagery, I love it. You had a constant rhyme theme, which is always nice. All I can suggest is to break it up a bit - it's a lot to swallow when it's one big paragraph. Great, great work. Thank you for sharing it with me.
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