Killa's profile

Killa avatar
AGE: 23
LOC: Houma, LA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 03

Dont take my crits seriously. Im a writer not a reviewer. Im sorry. Just dont open my reviews. They all say “I like this good job”

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Novel Treatments / Just one of the gang
Version 3
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I stared into her emerald green eyes as I held her tiny three-foot frame, her hair, like black velvet, caressing my arms. She was five and in her eyes I could see a wisdom not usually born in one so young, wisdom that, in part, I had given her. The knowledge of ones own death it a universal feeling transcending all aspects of life, even age. In those eyes I could tell she knew that she was dying. "Where is my daddy?" She asked, little flecks of blood drying at the corners of her mouth. Lookin...
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Novel Treatments / Just one of the gang
Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I stared into her emerald green eyes as I held her tiny three-foot frame, her hair, like black velvet, caressing my arms. She was five and in her eyes I could see a wisdom not usually born in one so young, wisdom that, in part, I had given her. The knowledge of ones own death it a universal feeling transcending all aspects of life, even age. In those eyes I could tell she knew that she was dying. "Where is my daddy?" She asked, little flecks of blood drying at the corners of her mouth. Lookin...
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Novel Treatments / A heart shorned ( Story 1)
Version 1
12 Reviews   0 Comments
I held her close to me as she shed her few final tears. I'd been doing that for the past hour or more. Her eyes were puffy and swollen as she looked at me. The bruise on her cheek finaly having reached it's full growth. "Why do you let him do this to you?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. "It was my fault." she slurred as the pain of doing so wracked her small frame. "I shouldn't have yelled at him." I held her close to me and quietly thought. It was times like these when I wanted t...
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Novel Treatments / A heart shorned ( Story 2)
Version 1
10 Reviews   1 Comment
It was nine-thirty at night and the wind had picked up a little causing leaves to gently flow along the cool pavement. She stood in the doorway of her apartment building waiting for her friend, David; he would be there any minute. Like clockwork every Friday night the two of them would go for a night out on the town. They would stay out till about two or three in the morning then he would drop her off, she would hug him, kiss his cheek, then, as he had a thousand times before, he would leave...
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Novel Treatments / Just one of the gang
Version 1
8 Reviews   0 Comments
I stared into her emerald green eyes as I held her tiny three-foot frame, her hair, like black velvet, caressing my arms. She was five and in her eyes I could see a wisdom not usually born in one so young, wisdom that, in part, I had given her. The knowledge of ones own death it a universal feeling transcending all aspects of life, even age. In those eyes I could tell she knew that she was dying. "Where is my daddy?" She asked, little flecks of blood drying at the corners of her mouth. Lookin...
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Poetry / Apathy***
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Short Story / The Servant
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I only had a few flow problems in this piece. I cant recall if I have read the previous instalments or not but this is chapter 3 correct? Are we just learning that this is an alien (at least to us) race? I feel that this should be told earlier in the tale. In that vein, remember never to retell what you have already shown to us readers. It becomes redundant and affords us no new info. i.e. If we know a character is young then the constant refference to his age becomes a sorry attempt at filli...
Ok first off lemme say that in the past I have been a dick. My brother broke his foot off in my ass and now I will actually do some real crttiquing even though I am not too good at it. First off let me say that the real problem I had with this was the description. Now I know that you describe everything in here well it is just that I feel I am being told it all and not shown what you see in your own mind. I mean it is hard to explain. I almost see what it is you are trying to show me but it i...
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