Kayboo's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Detroit, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 26
LOC: Detroit, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 26
Okay, my previous profile needed a serious makeover. Sooo…
Hi, my name is Kayboo, I’m 16-years-old, and I’m in 11th grade. I live in Detroit, Michigan (sucky city, and I hate it).
I first found out the creative world of writing when I was in middle school. I would write fan-fiction for cartoons, and later, in 8th grade, that evolved into original fiction. I grew out of the fan-fiction stuff.
Now, I’m currently working on an novel called Blue Eyes. Plus, I want to publish all my hidious poetry in a book, so you guys can suffer like the my classmates in Creative Writing whenever I recite one of my poems. Some of them are good, but the others…I don’t even know what the heck was I thinking when I wrote them.
When I go to coll…
(more)
Items
Version 2
3 Reviews
1 Comment
Chapter 2 Contact and Truth A pink-haired girl with black boots walks in a crowded hallway, concentrating on one target. The young man who advances towards her. He has brown, curly hair, and his brown eyes have a glint of fire in them. The girl however, has bright green eyes, like the stalk of a poisonous plant. The two meet each other in the middle of the hallway, and break into a passionate kiss that makes the jealous girls in the hallway hiss. But that was just a daydream, in the mind of a...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Chapter 2 Contact and Truth A pink-haired girl with black boots walks in a crowded hallway, concentrating on one target. The young man who advances towards her. He has brown, curly hair, and his brown eyes have a glint of fire in them. The girl however, has bright green eyes, like the stalk of a poisonous plant. The two meet each other in the middle of the hallway, and break into a passionate kiss that makes the jealous girls in the hallway hiss. But that was just a daydream, in the mind of a...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews
3 Comments
Chapter 1: The Nightmare “Evan!” Clair Clearwater screamed, quickly getting up from her seat and advancing towards the young man sitting on the other side of the table. Seeing how pale his face looked, she walked faster, pushing the on-lookers who wanted to see what happened. Something made Evan Kayos scream suddenly, breaking their meeting. Something made the 24-year-old, after the scream, stare ahead, taking shallow breaths as the people around him and prodded him with their concerns. Some...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
5 Comments
Prologue It’s dark. My skin is damp. I’m shivering, because of cold and fear. I’m in a cage, in a dim, soggy and cold basement. My cage hovers over the floor, where rats and bugs crawl. I can smell the gas from the furnace and water heater. It burns my nose. I can hear screams from upstairs, with the occasional thump, meaning that someone or something fell. Most likely, it was someone…like my mother. My clothes are torn, stretched in places where fingers grab and pull. I ache all over, especi...
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Reviews
Wow. O_O Just wow. I have never read something like this before. Don't worry, this is a positive review! Anyway, I have never read anything like this. It's very well constructed, with words that belong in a SAT vocab. *smiles* I mean, you put some words in there, like some that I don't even know, and I have a pretty much big vocab myself. *chuckles* So, you planned this to be the prologue of you book, eh? It would be nice, but I agree with you; this needs to be something else, like the start ...
Nice background. I felt that I learned something there. The chapter title makes me think of an anime for some reason. I don't see any grammar mistakes here. Must be my eyes, because I'm excited. This is one of the best stories I've ever read here. I love Japan! Anyway, you may want to lose some of the spacing, because that makes it look kinda long. I had to scroll a lot to get to the end, you know! I like it, and I want more! The Red & Black Queen, Kayboo
Like you said, the grammar needs work. After reading your notes, I'm not going to mention what is wrong with it. But, I liked it. I love the words you used in it. I love the descriptions, characters and all. This Vesper is now officially on my fav. characters list, and I haven't read the whole novel! Keep at it! I'm looking for more... The Red & Black Queen, Kayboo
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