Definately the most innocent writting I've read of yours. Very sing-songy, which seems foreign to me, coming from you :). I really liked it, it brought a nice soft reflection to childhood for me

I liked it, but it didn't move me like it could have. The ending seemed funny to me(hoping that was the point). It was a lot of build up, that led to nothing, but they may be just me. On a gramatical note, in the first stanza, third line, "you" should be "you've"

A true look into abuse, some would call it right, others wrong. I say it's honest. Working in a shelter for the abused, I've heard this story numerous times, but never so beautifully. The thing that is so beautiful about this poem is the contrast between the woman/love and the man/abuse.

I see no need to add grammar to this, it reads very smoothly (unless you intend on publishing it, then MAYBE.) I both agree and disagree. We are using what little resources the planet has left at a neck-breaking speed, but with new technology, I don't think we will go back to days of old. With hydro/solar-powered cars and things of that nature, we still have at least a lifetime left. I liked the wording at the end "children of the future", but not sure why... Just sounds better to me than OUR...

funny and empowering, a great combination. "Take a fucking nap" is my favorite part by far, and you use of it in the end is great. Empowering, mainly because of the last stanza, you can, and will, do want you want.

Nice read, I loved how you turned the seconds to years, because that's what love does. I would have rated this MUCH higher had it not been for the first 4 lines, a different introduction would make this great. The rhyming seemed overly-forced, and didn't say much, really. Other than that it was pretty good.

Seems like one of those poems that speaks solely to the writter and MAYBE a select group, so it makes it hard to judge, the writting is great and the flow keeps itself well... If this was meant to reach a larger group, it failed to captivate me

Pretty nice haiku... You kept the structure properly.

I really enjoyed the bits of commonly used numbers (paper cranes, prize patrol, etc...) And it made me think, we spend so much time focusing on certain numbers with no REAL meaning... That we miss what's important (or that was my take on it atleast)... very well done, definately not a boring read from. From start to finish I wanted to know what happened at 2K. Look forward to more work from you

This is great. It was heartbreaking, going from the idea that everything will be fine in time, to the fact that, no it won't. Some of the pain and feelings will fade, but not all. As for the rhyme scheme, it was fine. I don't believe there should always BE a rhyme scheme. If it rhymes, great... if not, great. As for the structure, I would make each line a little longer, perhaps making every two lines one. The constant short lines makes it a little les interesting, each small line is valued le...