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K_Dean's profile
AGE:
23
LOC: Sachse, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 19
LOC: Sachse, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 19
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Items
Version 1
6 Reviews
1 Comment
Faded With the Photograph: I sometimes wonder if, with the advent of the photograph, people thought images would disappear upon the subject’s death. Perhaps the theory was, that with each photo taken, a touch of vitality was captured and assimilated into specks of silver halide, and with the demise of the pictured, the captivated vitality, and thus the likeness would be dissolved. Absurd really, no intelligent person would accept such an abstraction of science and superstition. A synthetic my...
Version 2
5 Reviews
0 Comments
He watched a small brick of color lodged between two rocks dissolve; it emitted a cloud of green as it quickly disappeared in the stream. He sighed as he rummaged through his box; that had been the last emerald pastel. People had always told him his fingers were too clumsy for such a thing as art, he had never believed them before, but maybe they were right. Of course, maybe next time he would remember not to position his easel so close to water. George deposited the rest of his pastels into...
Version 1
12 Reviews
1 Comment
Lately, I’ve wondered why the snowman insists on returning annually. After finally sitting, pondering, and giving this matter its due thought, I’ve gained nothing but a vague understanding of this phenomenon. One must take into consideration the limited psyche of the snowman; its brain is composed of hydrogen, two parts oxygen, dirt, grass, leaves, and other trace atmospheric elements. With this understanding, we can then postulate that the snowman incorporates very little logical thought in...
Version 1
25 Reviews
3 Comments
A beleaguered tapping on the doorway brought him from his light slumber, he was mildly aware of the snow and the fierce storm that assailed his windows and door. He rose slowly from his chair and stepped across the deer-pelt that shielded his bare feet from the chill of the unfinished wood. Unfastening the crude padlock that usually couldn’t even keep out the wind, he opened the door; his eyes were met by something that defied his bland expectations. A beautiful young girl sought his eyes wit...
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Reviews
A small character criticism: Cody is so unsympathetic that the interactions seem contrived. Perhaps approach it in a more even handed manner to make the situations seem more real. I understand that you run the risk of dampening the effect of the finale, but i feel the story would be better with it. Perhaps address the implications of Jo's lack of a desire to help her boyfriend, is there a personality disorder that fits that? Coupling a few lines about Jo's own shortcomings as a mother or part...
Here's criticism that you likely won't hear from a creative writing teacher. You're sentences are a bit too short. Try lengthening them by removing some periods and reevaluating the sentence layout. This will make things flow better and seem less disjoint, though i only really noticed this shortcoming in your opening, it wouldn't hurt to go over the entire document. Having the names of the men imply their powers was a very good idea for this short format, with this many characters otherwise n...
Somewhat overwhelming subject matter. I suppose i'll address your first criteria. In it's current form i don't think that this is publishable, it would require some sort of established plot arc. In the words of one of my Lit teachers, it needs something along these lines. "Hero has a problem, hero makes problem worse, hero solves problem or problem solves hero." Obviously this is only part of your journal, perhaps you should review your overall journal and see if anything resembling a story i...
aHA! excellent. Some very nice sentence structure and wordplay and I love the approach to the dog as an intelligent being. Many times when people take a swing at this concept, the dog's mind is considerably dampened (while there are hints at this, it is nothing dramatic). The vocabulary and "planning" aspect lend well to this concept. I found it to be a humorous read and if you were able to come up with a somewhat original plot arc, it could easily be published as a children's book. additiona...
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