Journey's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: Red Oak, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 26
LOC: Red Oak, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 26
Journey, 28, is a freelance writer based out of Probablyneverbeenthere, Texas. When she is not writing, she enjoys anything media related, being analytical to the point of insomnia, and sumo wrestling her three boys.
www.myspace.com/madisonsmith
Items
Version 1
31 Reviews
13 Comments
Tom always was down for some more Whether two-eyed with scabies or four He ran out of luck And lost all his pluck When his yee-haw fell on the floor
Version 1
31 Reviews
19 Comments
Buff Frannie, she worked out at Balley’s Kept no count of masculine dallies She finally fell hard For a thong leotard Now rather than Franks, she digs Sallys
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
And she sways in the room to the sighs of the blues where the bug eyed crawfish boil to the cadence of slow ceiling fan's spin, the tempo's only spoil. The squat, iron kettle black as her eyes whistles of her praises. Aged bosom heaving, she stirs savory rue and cooking fire blazes. Through all of the years, she's made this meal while crazy fireflies dance to celebrate life and love in cornfields when all that love was, was chance. Through stick propped window rain tiptoes in to moisten the s...
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
I keep grasping Grimy dispair caked under broken fingernails Dragging My own dead weight towards the finish line Of your race that I swore I'd stop running a thousand years ago I'm wising up The carrot you dangled Tantilizing love Has been devoured by the parasites Who follow your every proclamation Queen of the Righteous They hail you While I wonder With them stripping you apart Fiber by sinew Will there be anything left?
Version 1
5 Reviews
4 Comments
I love to read you, Run my finger softly Down your soul. Close my eyes, Measure its weight, Decipher substance. Can you fill this Aching hollow? Are you man enough? And do you possess The heart of a hero, The patience of a saint?
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Reviews
It is a good story. You have talent. I would like to see more background because there were times I was a little lost. Good stuff!
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Killer last sentence! Made me want to bite someone or kick something. :) This analogy is somewhat odd to me. Maybe you could further embelish what a starved child would devour? "The steel that encased me sucked in the cold like a starved child," Good study of body language. "glare of teeth pressed together in defiance" I'd restructure this to read, "This red-faced upstart knew the code of our forefathers." "He knew the code of his forefathers, this red-faced upstart." I would use different te...
Very creative! I've always though of chocolate in this exact way. You employed the classic magician's trick of "Look over here; things are not what they seem." until the very end; which is always as it should be.
More!!! I have been checking back to see if you have written more as I find myself hooked on this character when somehow your story popped up for my review. ;-) The only thing I find myself having an irk with is the disconnect between Lacey and her family. Although she is a carefree and adventurous spirit, she has to be feeling a bit bereft without them around. It would be difficult to have grown up with these people and know that she is never to see them again.
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