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JonnyU's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Cypress, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 30
LOC: Cypress, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 30
Hi, I’m Jonathan. I’m from Houston. And I had an idea for a movie about 5 years ago. It was sporatic to say the least, and came during a point in my life where i couldn’t really focus too much on it.
Now, my life has become a little more stable and i’ve been able to sit down and solidify the plot. So now I’m writing my first drafts of it. I wanted to originally make it a screen play, but have no clue how to even start writing one. So I writing a novel instead, with hopes that someday it may become a movie.
I like setting lofty goals :)
I also dabble a bit in lyrical writing and poetry. Please enjoy!
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Version 1
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Chapter 1 Flight 2647 to Dallas now boarding at gate 15. Flight 2647 to Dallas is now boarding at gate 15. “Are you sure about this, Edwards? I have a feeling we’re going to regret this.” “He’ll show. I know it.” “Sure Jeff, Tell me something…um…how?” Jeff smiled, it was the kind of smile that reminded people of the Cheshire cat. Danny huffed into the mic. “…you’re smiling at me aren’t you?” That was the nature of Jeff Edwards and Danny Mountebank’s working relationship. They had been partner...
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How long have you been writing? This is a very good start, but in my opinon there aren't enough "flourishy" words to be called the best poetry on here. That being said however, it is a very good start. You definitely are not being too obvious, you leave a little bit to the readers imagination, which is good. This sounds very much like it could be a song, have you ever considered writing lyrics? Because if this is your typical style of writing and you don't want to change it, I would suggest t...
I like the subject you use, and the imagery for each of the presidents that you describe. I would however take out the parenthesise (sp?) and leave the "...all the way lines" bare. It cleans up the look of the poem in my honest opinion. Other than that it is an excellent piece of work. Very original and very well thought out.
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