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Jinx_Luckystar's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 26
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 26
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Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Channelled energy just mirrors my frustrations.
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Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Twisted vines wrapped around my wrists, Short, sharp breaths in mists before me, A cry of help, a silent answer, A plea for freedom consistently rebuked. Your ravenous gaze searches my face, A merciless snarl echoes from cold, puckered lips, A tortured soul, a bid for sanity, A spirit trapped inside a cage of worthless flesh.
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Reviews
I like the rhyming structure. It gives the sentence a little bit of humour. It's quirky and I like how you used your punctuation,it is very hard to get anything across in six words but you have managed well.
This is amusing. I thought that the light hearted tone was really fitting and it brought a smile ot my face.
I thought the way you cut the piece off just at the crucial moment was very intriuging. It leaves it open ended and keeps the reader unsure and curious as to what the last word could have actually been. Nice use of punctuation, it leaves it feeling more free and flows more efficiently.
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