JilLLiO's profile

I don't quite understand your note of finding "some meaning," though I assume you refer to inspiration? A little thing: the spelling of shakey...shaky? shakey? Your spelling in the title differs from your spelling in the poem. I don't understand this line: "An Shandon pealing;" it may be a geographic thing, but I don't know what is a Shandon...That threw me off. I think the disposition of the narrator is interesting, as though the stream of consciousness is enhanced by walking upon an oscilla...

At just the title, I thought you were going to write about bubbles - like soap bubbles. And then reading further, I thought the "bubble" was referring to speech bubbles like you see in comics. Then you tell me that the person to whom the narrator refers is in a bubble shield. There's a lot more you could do with the concept of bubble here, it seems. The irony is that a bubble (soap bubble) is delicate and pervious to the slightest touch, and someone like me would think that this bubble wouldn...

Initial reading of this poem in its entirety leaves an impression synonymous with the opening of Pandora's box. Reference to the trunk opening in the beginning and many images strewn at the reader, dissipating toward the end, give this impression. I like the concept because it's familiar, but I'm undecided as to whom the moment of freedom belongs: the parent? The child? The repetition of "freedom" works to give the concept resonance, though I think what would be even more effective than that ...

Have you considered switching the order of the stanzas? I empathize with the message of this piece because smells and songs do exhibit an unexpected power to summon memories. I was looking at the rhyme scheme, and this may be a small technicality, but there is a missing rhyming pair; "whispers" does not rhyme with "seemed," yet there is correlation between song/long, same/name, memory/me. I wasn't sure if that was intentional... The brevity is effective because the topic you chose to write ab...

1. Can you understand the poem? Yes. It looks to be a night on borrowed time, and though the relationship between the narrator and to whomever the narrator refers is ambiguous, the desire to be together is obvious. 2. What did you like most/dislike most? I like that the piece seemed of-the-moment; the lines are structured similar to the way one would probably be thinking in such a moment. I dislike that there was a lot of telling. I couldn't empathize with the narrator enough to really know w...