JganJay's profile

JganJay avatar
AGE: 25
LOC: North Fort Myers, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 08

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Items
Poetry / Denial
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
At every glance We perceive it, But deceive it. In every bite We both taste it, But erase it. At every beat We both feel it, But conceal it. In every laugh We both say it, But don't obey it. At every question We both know it, But we loathe it. In every tear We both hear it, But we fear it. We deny it, We both hide it; Try and erase it, Will we ever face it?
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Haiku/Senryu / Sphere
Version 1
30 Reviews   11 Comments
Globe in cold attic Mother wanders through dark Space That sphere is my stage
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Poetry / Far From Home
Version 1
3 Reviews   4 Comments
My heart knocks against my chest, It echoes fists beating the steel door. Cool blade and rod clenched in hand, Beads of sweat slip and hit boiling floor. Chipped white walls and Afghan sand Decorate our cell that was once our home. We speak of death coming soon, I will not face the end alone. We wait on beds for our final wound, Each nervous breath could be our last. The only thoughts that give us rest, Are sweet memories of days long past.
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Poetry / I Dreamt A Dream
Version 1
3 Reviews   9 Comments
I dreamt a dream that a dream came true; I gazed into the eyes I thought I’d never behold, And held the hands I never dared to hold, Then awoke to find I was not sleeping.
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Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
On the corner of a street Atop rain bathed stones Two roads Chanced to meet And we danced in the rain Exchanging steps of life Each reading the others story Some pass on the road, others walk along side Some share a dance on the corner of two roads Windows open and clear A look into the soul Dreams full of beauty Are priceless when shared Share a smile from the heart Dig into a living novel The greatest books are on two legs Don't let a story pass you by The rain still licks the stone Two roa...
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Reviews
I am sure this is very meaningful to you, as is much of what I write more for me that for others. To me it was not unlike quite a lot of other works I have read.
Removed
A fascinating piece. Well written and deep. You have captured many levels of intimacy in a beautiful way.
Poetry / A Given Drowning
Locked
Poetry / poem to a possum
Where you chose to break you lines made is difficult to read. The end of a line create a pause and I find where may of the pauses fall to be rather awkward. For example, there first stanza would flow better as follows. "There is roadkill on the street bloody bones and fur asphalt doesn’t care." Maybe you intentionally went for this effect but I personally found it choppy and distracting. Despite the structure, I did enjoy the content. Interesting way to portay how the world sees your efforts.
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Haiku/Senryu / Pulp

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