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AGE:
33
LOC: Drums, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 12
LOC: Drums, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 12
The plane where poetry, math, and music meet completely fascinates me. The seamless fusion of these concepts can create a whole new perspective and can often dictate how a story evolves.
The twists and turns of The Reluctant Adventurer is an example of this. Currently, The Reluctant Adventurer is a self-published novel. Though, I am currently revising it as I prepare to sell the rights to a major publisher.
The following URL is a radio interview that features this book and the artwork I made for it: http://stream.publicbroadcasting.net/production/mp3/wvia/local-wvia-578030.mp3
However, it should be noted that the deal with Dreamworks Studios (mentioned during the interview) never worked out. I still own all of the rights and am…
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Dear Mr. Laghi , Act I of The Reluctant Adventurer tells the story of a young man whose airplane is shot down by sky pirates from a lost continent. However, an ancient race of beings that call themselves the Unseen Power soon eclipse any threat that the sky pirates pose. Having not aged with the rest of nature their race is still as finely tuned as it was when time began yet their intention is to turn the earth into a new Garden of Eden… into a state of youth… a state of perfect...
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Dear Jud, Act I of The Reluctant Adventurer tells the story of a young man whose airplane is shot down by sky pirates from a lost continent. However, an ancient race of beings that call themselves the Unseen Power soon eclipse any threat that the sky pirates pose. Having not aged with the rest of nature their race is still as finely tuned as it was when time began yet their intention is to turn the earth into a new Garden of Eden… into a state of youth… a state of perfecti...
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Dear Jud, Act I of The Reluctant Adventurer tells the story of a young man whose airplane is shot down by sky pirates from a lost continent. However, an ancient race of beings that call themselves the Unseen Power soon eclipse any threat that the sky pirates pose. Having not aged with the rest of nature their race is still as finely tuned as it was when time began yet their intention is to turn the earth into a new Garden of Eden… into a state of youth… a state of perfect...
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CHAPTER I: "A Beast in the Darkness" John Robinson was stricken with wonder and extraordinary fear as he gazed out of the window of the small cargo plane. What he saw was a gray ocean under a gray sky. It seemed to possess a treachery that was greater than its endless size. The luxuries of home were now the elements of a distant dream. John reached inside of his jacket, and for a moment, held his mother's brass angel pin. She had pinned it to his shirt just before he boarded the plane. It was...
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CHAPTER II: “I am Awthelloe” Out of a whirlpool of blackness emerged images and sounds that were unrecognizable. The boy was lying on his side and found his sleepy eyes focusing on a black mirror with a perfect circular shape. A dim reflection of himself gazed back. As his waking thoughts gained clarity, he realized that his face was nearly touching the spokes of a banister, laced with intricate designs. The glassy object that he watched was on the other side. Things were coming to life, once...
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It's a nice story. Although, at times, it feels as though it's just a long list of events. My advice would be to have someone close to you read it and have them give you suggestions, paragrach by paragraph. Just a little more spark in the descriptions might give the novel just what it needs.
The writing style was very entrancing! Indeed, it felt like poetry. However, there was one little thing that stuck out: "All over the Eastern shore children were going missing, taken in the middle of the night without so much as an open door or window." The term "going missing" sounds oddly out of place. It just doesn't fit in with the rest of the writing style. Instead, you may want to put something like "disappearing". For the most part, it was very well done. Good luck with it!
Wow! Pretty heavy stuff. I think everyone can relate to what you wrote. We all have felt that way in one form or another. It's a fact of life and a cruel law of nature. Everyone feels displaced (even though they may not show it). The whole world is displaced. You have a talent for writing.
This was very good reading. Although, I'm sad to say that I could not find my copy of the book. I read it a number of years ago and wanted check out the ending once again, before reading what you wrote. But it was no use. The book is somewhere among the missing :-( Your piece certainly seemed very real. You could feel how the confines of the work camp would never completely leave him... how he would still live his life under the same strict regiment, even though he had the freedom to do whate...
The only suggestion I would have for this chapter is with this line: "James had a way of making the best of an awful situation. He could be ankle high in blood and he would appear happy by it." I don't know if saying that he appeared happy by it gives the right impression. It might make him sound almost sadistic. You may want to say something like "he appeared happy in spite of it". For the most part, though, I think you're doing a great job. It certainly feels like a real military operation.
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