JerdStyles's profile

JerdStyles avatar
AGE: 20
LOC: Syracuse, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 06

Im 18, into music(punk, thrash, some hardcore, some emo, whatever kind of shit sounds good), I’m working on a book if you couldn’t tell from the last paragraph, I can be sarcastic and I hate stupidity, I like to just write stuff.  Weather its good or bad,  its fun.  I like to write lyrics and poems, mostly lyrics for my band(punk/hardcore style band(http://www.myspace.com/taosband)), and I just like to have a good time. I like to poop.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Poetry / Early to Rise
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
The night fades into day. The dark to blueish gray. Before the roar of man's machines. The birds come out to sing. The cat crouched, set to fight. Workers pull their boots tight. The sun sits low to the ground. As the city begins to sound. The dew lays in the grass. Worried by another days pass.
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Novel Treatments / untitled 3
Version 1
21 Reviews   1 Comment
I began to walk back to my one room apartment. I took the backstreets, so I could avoid the ignorance one tends to face in the ghetto area that I live in. The ground was still somewhat covered with snow, and the sides of the road had small streams running down them. The air smelled fresh and for once clean. The sun hung in the sky, occasionally passing beneath the clouds. The world was going to begin a new season. It was a fresh start from the previous year. I could see bits of green grass b...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / untitled 2
Version 1
5 Reviews   1 Comment
I stood on the sidewalk, alone of course, outside of the grocery store taking slow, steady drags off of my cigarette. This particular store wasn't crowded often, so I liked it. An old couple walked past me. The old woman looked at me and smiled. I didn’t smile back because I didn’t know what her intentions were. Seriously, why the fuck did she smile at me? Do I look like I need a “friendly” face? Maybe she was just a nice, happy woman. Fuck happy people. I turned my head and continued smokin...
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Novel Treatments / untitled
Version 1
7 Reviews   4 Comments
Everything seemed so distant, sort of like that deja-vu feeling. It all felt as if it were so far away even though I knew it was right before my eyes. It was hazy and out of flesh like a conversation that you knew was going nowhere. My world was spinning and became oddly bland, sick and sad in a way. Everything that I loved years before was gone. My friends all turned their backs on me and my family was completely out of it. The girl of my dreams walked out on me after finding me wasted in t...
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Reviews
It reads really smoothly. I like the idea of the tree cutting and describing each bit of the part there. But some stuff really seemed forced, like the last 4 stanzas. It seemed just like you were trying to rhyme it rather than speak it. "shall I caress your hand" is that supposed to be the chainsaw or what is going on with that, I am not too sure. But it is pretty good, just if I could understand it more it would be that much better. jerd
I really was digging this one. I liked how you talked about memories and how they dig your grave. I liked the dark way it was written and the gothic style it was portrayed in. It was really cool. Great job.
Wow, I really liked how you wrote this. Great ideas behind it. I like how you imagine the ending of the world, is a really good thought. Saddening though. Good job. It was depressing somewhat.
I really liked the story. I liked the base and what it was about. Vampires are pretty cool I think. I liked the flashback that she had of when she died. I loved how it was written, simple yet at the same time, kind of old styled. There one really one thing confusing to me "It wasn’t until later that evening when I saw Lucille talking to Mortimer and a second man, one whom I have never met before. Excusing myself from Mortimer’s side, I walked up to them and introduced myself the mysterious st...
What I am getting from this seems to be like the day and age we live in more and more people tend to seem... computerized? That is what I am understanding and if that is what it is- it is very interesting. I do like where it is going and where it could end up. A lot of the parts seem really sketchy and tough to read, but as you said it is a rough draft. It is a good start. You have got a point going and a place that you could go with it. I would say that you shouldn't trash it, just give it s...