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Jenna_Alec's profile
AGE:
27
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 18
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 18
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Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
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The trickle of my thoughts centers on one thing: the image of you, smiling in your play as your child-like activities bring out the kid in you. Only days before I had seen the man, desperate in his anger and frustration, and looking like an older version of himself. And once, chiseled features softened in passion, smoldering red-brown eyes dark with desire; you hovered above me, poised to strike, and smiled. The light behind you making haloes of your curls, and shadows of your words.
Version 1
1 Review
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Thinking of you slow, creeping melancholy mixed with liquid longing slides up my spine to pool in my chest and smother my heart, squeezing with the rhythm of what we once did to each other. Bathed in sweat panting breaths as skin on skin we danced. Secrets of sin and pleasure I want the whole world to know.
Version 1
1 Review
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Have you ever measured time in glances? Unsaid words that fall like stones in the silence between us. I could spend hours in your eyes Watching your lips move and not caring what you said because your eyes speak volumes and you don't even know.
Version 1
1 Review
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If I could I would cut out my heart Live without it's constant beating, pleading, for things I can't have. Or give it to you for safe keeping You could tuck it away You wouldn't need to use it Just keep it from screaming his name each time the pain grows too strong to contain.
Version 1
0 Reviews
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I wish I could catch you off guard. Trip you with a smile a look so that you fall into me.
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Reviews
I have been in this place. And your writing portrays that feeling of distrust and cynicism quite well. It's hard to take a chance on love, and even harder to put that feeling into words. You have done a wonderful job of the second!
Though the poem does well in it's conveyance of a sense of cynicism, I as a reader felt somewhat bombarded by the questions. Thematically, it is quite the statement, and does provoke thought.
Simple, but also quite evocative in a sense. Especially enjoy the line "but rather a query of character"... well phrased, and the use of "query" rather than "question" again was a good choice in my opinion. Only suggestion I would have is that perhaps a little more information about the subject would be good. Who is the poem about?
Reading through this, I found myself thinking "this is me" more than once. The kind of emotion and feeling that comes through to the reader from your phrasing is quite powerful. I especially like the continuing theme of conflicting phrases and words. The line that I kept coming back to was "Just a yesterday's thought". For me, this simple phrase brings up a multitude of thoughts and feelings. Thank you for sharing this, it really spoke to me.
I love the tone of this piece. It has a very classical feel to it, which resonates well with the subject matter. "I’m finding you, losing you and nothing And nothing" This section is my favorite. It conveys a sense of futility that I strongly identify with. This piece is beautifully written! Thank you for sharing it.
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