Jenee's profile

Jenee avatar
AGE: 26
LOC: West Des Moines, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 04

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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I started going to dinner with the stranger, every weekend. Silence between us was not an irritation, he spoke too loud finding it hard to listen, at times, therefore, little exchanges as time went on, understood. Once, was told I am like walking in an elevator, Unknown, unpredictable, but must trust in order to continue, and a surrounding feeling that won't seize, then when existing a calm relief of understood destinations and, "great ride." He was entering the elevator for sometime. We neve...
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Poetry / Mind's Motion
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
I sat in a crowded room marked by questions of intensions beyond the initial mark of hi and good afternoon when she commented to me about feathers flowing from the distance to make a stream of buildings some will come to in time with entertainment and concern of presence time mangles itself around words, gestures, and growth of weeds in sand that only falls away from each other in energy of moments where men and women laugh to define a loss of understanding between you and me felt each other ...
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Poetry / Writer's Block
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
He told me to write a little something about wishing in the burbs, for that laughter of love, genius, you know points of entering and existing a moment. I’d rather sing to him and her about the dog sniffing paint with his toes and the injustice in walking, harder on the right. Though, I was born and raised, an internal push of pleasing out of guilt, Catholic, you know. So, I write the story he asks for… …though, my thoughts are on what he can really believe or handle, me dancing on poles and ...
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Quotes / ensured
Ha! Being in two bad car accidents involving weather conditions, AGREED!
Poetry / Trivial Moments
I like that the poem is static and mundane when talking about the feeling of the narrator (you). However, I think that it would be beneficial to change the movement and rhythm when "her mood lifts," in order for the words and structure to mimick the feelings and emotions being exerted. Explore other words to end with instead of un-automated, allowing a better visual.
Quotes / Life
Interesting, I just put in something I am writing, "I dance with the people that make airplanes out of 'the box.'" Keep the mind set!
Lyrics / Addiction
I am not sure about "I want lolly everyday" There are other connections to lollies and addition that may suit better. "Again" after fake may not be needed. Otherwise, I completely feel your pull between the addition of wanting and needing and in return the drug or individual using you as 'prey.' Good Stuff!
Quotes / Why??? (2)
It reminds me of a budist proverb about a man that gets shot with a poison arrow, in which he is asked (something close to), "Is it more important to find out where the arrow came from, why it was done, what material the arrow is made from, and what type of poison it is or is it more important to take the arrow out...
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