Jelissa_Jones's profile

Jelissa_Jones avatar
AGE: 28
LOC: West Des Moines, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 14

Hey everyone I write whatever my pen or keyboard types out.    

My favorite piece on here is Garbage.  Check it out if you can.  I’d love to be published one day.  I mean who wouldn’t right?  Yet, I write mainly because it helps me get through this crazy roller coaster that we all call life.

Everything I have is fairly new as about 6 months ago I burnt almost everything I’ve ever written.  A cleansing experiement that helped me be able to forget past hurts.  

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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Here’s a thought for you to ponder Sit back--and relax--it might take a while See you call yourself I If you say that you went to the store today You simply say--I went to the store Ah wait--did you catch that? I too call myself I Does it make you think? For so long I didn’t even blink See everyone says it I, I, I But what’s the difference between your I, and, My I? Where does my I end--and--your I start? Is there a middle, in between, where all is blend? It upsets me in tr...
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 Plus-button Clarity
Version 1
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That night as he turned on the computer at home the card still seemed to hum in his pocket. It was a constant thought, nagging at him all day. Nothing seemed to replace it. He glanced at the sheets of inventory he’d meant to enter in the database, but instead found himself on the login page to his email. A hell yeah went through his mind as he saw her name in his inbox. He wasted no time clicking on the message and by the end his mind was made up. Even though it felt like he was risking a dea...
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Novel Treatments / Untitled
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Let this be a lesson to myself, Kate thought, as she watched yet another possible roommate walk down the stairs. She laughed at the thought. “A possible roommate for Barnum and Bailey perhaps,” Kate muttered as the man walked his invisible dog, away from her apartment. Granted, she had taken out an ad in the daily that called for “A quirky and adaptable roommate” but she hadn’t known that it would be translated into “calling all freaks.” She closed her eyes, massaging her temples, willing the...
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Version 1
11 Reviews   3 Comments
As I pull into my driveway my mind leaps ahead to the beer I slid into the fridge a few hours ago. I can imagine the cool bottle in my hand and the liquid cooling my throat while warming my insides. Fridays, why people love them is beyond me. Everything goes wrong on Fridays. Today the phone system crashed twice, anyone who knew anything on how to fix it was on vacation, and finally the sprinkler system went off for no apparent reason. Opening the door I kicked my heels off toward the pile of...
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Version 1
12 Reviews   1 Comment
CHAPTER 2 (8 Months Prior) Listening to my boss drone on and on about what we weren’t doing as a team I found it hard not to laugh when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. Damn Missy and her constant text messages. I hated text messaging. All my messages were short or pre-programmed into the phone. It took way too long for me to type out a god damn message. Missy was the queen of text messaging. Throughout the week I got a good 100 messages from her. Sometimes I wondered if she could sen...
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Reviews
Short Story / Coach
I know this was just venting, but there doesn't seem to be much to connect the reader to the plot. There needs to be more details. Even though we don't know that the Coach has the guy in the begining you can tell more of the story through conversation with the cops. Let the guy flashback to conversations with the missing guy or have the cops ask specific questions. Also how does the military background tie in? A lot of people have military back grounds, but that wouldn't be a point the cops w...
33.3333% Review Quality (3 Votes)
Poetry / What is life?
In the fourth line under the Young Boy there is a floating comma...the for before the comma also seems to be out of place. The last section seems out of the blue. There is no tie in to the rest of the poem. Instead of telling what is learned, show us through the actual poem.
The section that begins with the pillow doesn't seem to flow as well. I kept waiting for there you are there and I am here. The first two descriptions of seeing the face in the moon and drinking the wine to taste the lips are excellent! I would suggest trying to tie the pillow into that as well. That section just doesn't paint the picture--perhaps you could talk about wanting to touch the skin so soft and turning to the pillow. It's there already the picture just isn't as clearly painted in t...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
The seventh line down seems to be missing the word way. I think it flows really well and love the description of the tree analogy at the begining. There is so much truth in theis piece. I didn't get the trapped like a fence. I don't know it just didn't seem to fit to me. Also at the end when you talk about this being the only world that you know I was thinking back to the part with the dream of queens and kings. COuld there be a tie in here?
Novel Treatments / A Chance Meeting
First off can't wait to see where this goes. I actually liked the way you described the snow in the first part, it was long, but it was much like one who'd had to go through it would describe it. THe people track comment struck me as odd, but as I read on it seemed fitting to the character. The guy why was he striking? Describe his face since thats what she noticed so much. I love the conversation between the mom and Delia. It catches a mother/daugther relationship very well. THe part she rec...
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