JackiJinx's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Goshen, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 25
LOC: Goshen, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 25
I am mostly a poetry/lyrics writer and have most of my influences come from the music I hear (recently being experimental and psych such as Pink Floyd) and relationships I go through…even though half the time, my writing doesn’t speak about the kinds of relationships I am in.
My writing’s mostly about bits of life, not pure “I want this boy,” more of “Well, there are TIMES I want him, and this would be the moment.”
However, read my work. You’ll understand it and me much better than any words I could use to directly describe myself or them.
The biggest thing you must know about me is this; I do not find it necessary for a reader to understand me, especially right off the back.
Items
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
I've got control Controlling me ain't the same as controlling you Your influence Your holiness My neediness of attention But I don't need this sensation caving in Crashing into all the windows I've yet to open I don't have the money to cover these expenses Need to get these boys out of my house Before they're breaking down my mattress Yet there's an aching inside, yearning Simple burning needing cooled Take that water pistol Douse this blazing heart Drown me with your passion In this fashion ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
4 Comments
When you get to your final destination, remember the map you used to get there.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
My heart just don’t understand. The dog with his adoring eyes and barbaric smile, He’s not interested in a child, But my heart just don’t understand. Let’s pick him up, Hold him awhile. Let him sink his brights into my flesh. Let my blood flow. See my eyes brighten, See my grin grow. That dog with his adoring eyes and barbaric smile, He’s not interested in a child, But my heart just don’t understand.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
Freezing But my heart is pumping Anticipation anticipated Pulse is pulsated Words are glowing green It's in me It's envy Placing a crack in this other person's back Such a desire destined to spill Have the mercy, Let me fulfill The whore has bore a hole in my head, A hole in his head Filling nothing more than empty thoughts and promises, a portion of dread Significantly draining all the thoughts of our bed All raging and deranging over summersets, summer nights Clawing and fulfilling every ot...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
It's visual That glare in your eyes Gazes strolling through my brain Wondering, Are you the reason why? Staring in a stranger, Nothing seem the stranger A friend glows with emotion, But I've seen more. Eyes do not seem like shallow orbs Nor dots on the face. These taste what you are living While you feast on theirs Little explorers conversing with another Begging confirmation, Seeking contract for contact. Just hand me a pen, And never let it dry, And never let it dry.
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Reviews
I enjoyed this immensely and found little problems with it. It flowed well, caught my interest, and I certainly didn't feel like I wasted my time reading it. So here are the errors I found: She laughed. ””This? You want to try?” - double quote, just remove one of the beginning quotes and all it good. “What the fuck is that? A “drink for girls.” I can drink whatever I want to.” - When quoting someone inside a quote, it gets 'this' rather than "this." One A.M. - I don't know about grammatically...
I want your children. I enjoyed the poem that much. Nothing bad to say from me, for a remarkable once.
This is some reaaal scary shit right there. Excellent, but still scary. Might I reccommend for easier reading to make breaks instead of adding in the backslashes (/)? It's sooo much easier on the eyes and makes it easier to follow. I feel I should say something about your warning. Thanks for the warning on the sex, but I was completely put off by the self-mutilation that dominates the piece. Perhaps a note of that as well? ^^;;
I loved this. I don't have much else to say. It reminds me of some of my older poetry, except for the repetitive stanza endings. No big deal, just that unless heard sung, it gets tiring after awhile. Keep writing. Please.
This is a good introduction to a philosophical piece or a piece of poetry, but this doesn't cut it as non-fiction. Also, one small grammar error: Maybe I don’t understand some things but shouldn’t... There needs to be a comma before but. I don't have much to say other than this. It's an interesting read, but that's it.
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