JBShadowrose's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Massey, MD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 09
LOC: Massey, MD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 09
Go ahead, light a cigarette and take a slow, timeless sip of your coffee or wine. This isn’t meant to be a lecture, but rather, a story.
In all honesty, I have no idea what to put in this little box. I’ve spent countless days spilling out a bit of a writer’s touch to these things, some different and some the same, but all in an attempt to capture the virtual essence of me. In reality though, it all depends on what you want to know. Or, perhaps more importantly, why you want to know.
If would take a little bit more than 19 years to totally go into detail about everything that I fear, love, enjoy, loathe, remember, and everything in-between. Of course, I could stick to the basics, but that would be boring. So, now we’re back at squar…
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I sketch words of thought, portraits of the mind objects of the conscious beautified with time. A passion without romance a song without melody Though intertwined through sense coursing chaotically through me. I conceive canvases of eternity a slave to my own master a beautiful notion a flawless disaster. An ocean of creation swimming with torment an endless horizon seemingly heaven-sent. I write, so that I may un-write all that is seen by an ever-searching sight. Copyright © J.B. Shadow...
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Maiden fair, wandering far Please tell me who you are Aye, Sir Wolfe, I bid ye farewell All is just at the gates of Hell. But I must know My Maiden of the snow Why art thou wandering far? Away from here, away from this In search of my mortal’s kiss Until I lie, facing the sky In my dark abyss. But my err is your lips, please spare me For a second of your endless beauty. Nay, for I have bled Within me forever, my dieing bed. Then shall I lay thee to rest And bestow my humble burden upon ...
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Love, from a tormented soul Rises from death Immortal Falling again to the lust A surrender A kiss Now, like the tormented soul I fly away In love.
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A figure walked into the night, almost camouflaging with its otherworldly shadows. His hair - shoulder-length and thinly straight - reflected the silver moonlight that shone down upon his dark wardrobe. The human eye would mistake him as a shadow, but in the eyes of those of his kind, he was a Leader. He knew all too well something was changing. The air was different; the atmosphere of darkness was stirring with some kind of newly born Power. Something he hasn't felt for a long time - vampiri...
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Release the beast, unto his Lust His desire embraced, and unquenched sin To his grasp, his eyes of sorrow I'll forever, undeniably, fall again Awaken him, upon his Thirst For what is never his, once lost forever Searching for the taste, the lasting hope Shall become him, forever never Denial masks his vengeance His anger knows no bounds He's lost within his silence; he speaks Yet all are lost but mute sounds A slave to his Thirst, the worst of pains Blinding him, no love shall be his No savio...
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Reviews
My first thoughts were that you were losing site of this story's main plot and situation. Also, I thought that you were being almost a bit *too* descriptive. It gave a bit of the attention away from the point of what you were slowly moving into later on in the piece. You were telling a life story, almost in journal form, and just adding an element of horror to tie in there. It made reading it a bit of a chore. Certain things don't even have to do with most of the story - your boyfriend leavin...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
This is the first erotic piece I've read on Urbis, and it isn't that bad! Nothing to "riskay", yet it gets the point across with that desired poetic sense. I'm not the best at critiquing prose, but I can't find much wrong with this. Though, I think you could've done better than "Not bad." At the last instant it changes the tone of the prose and almost dampens it in a sense. During it's entirety, I get the feeling that you're extremely into this girl. The "Not bad" addition tends to make me be...
This piece was simple and to the point. Sometimes, that's all you need for a poem. You said exactly what you needed and wanted to say, were honest and straight foreword, and chose a wonderful last stanza to sum it all up. However, this was my favorite: "my love is not for those who don't for those who can't or for those who won't" Wonderful choice of simplicity. I really like your style, and hope to see more from you. Good luck in the future!
One of the first things I thought while reading this piece was the excessive amount of significant words. The first two stanzas was hard to read through smoothly, though it eases up with the last two. Simple words can sometimes be the most powerful, never forget that ;) Either way, I liked this piece. I also love how you compared the first and last stanzas with comparisons; the "shadows" in the first, then "daybreak" in the last. Very powerful references for this poem.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I really liked this. Though it's a bit different from the normal poetic structure, you clearly display that you know how to organize your own thoughts in order to present them in a poetic fashion. Nice!
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