Insomnica's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 21
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 21
I write poetry, songs, and the odd short story if I’m feeling really creative. My stuff’s a mixture of romanticism and cynicism, with a dash of sadness and maybe a sprinkling of whimsy. I’ve been writing for a very long time now, I go through phases of great poetry and god-awful stuff, so if you happen to read one of the latter, feel free to tear it to shreds.
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It always happens in a flash; worlds collapse before our eyes, days go by, and people die but you and I survive. Windstorms shake our house of sticks, and all the walls come falling in. We're left on shaky ground, again, all safety gone - yet somehow, we remain. I'm waiting for that tiny flicker; Despite the storm, our silence lingers. You close the doors, and I am left without a doubt. Power down, lights out. Suffocated by tomorrow, our joys drown out in waves of sorrow. I'm at ...
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Four a.m. isn’t a good time anywhere, and it’s even worse when you’re standing on an empty sidewalk by the edge of a deserted street, waiting for your life to fall apart. I guess it’s a feeling most of us know to some extent, and something we can all relate to. For my part, I’d felt this way before, but somehow the early hour and the magnitude of the situation left me unable to react the way I normally would. It was the twelfth of February, and the snow was...
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Oh how I long for the morning’s crystal silver breath, When all the world is bathed in slate and dripping hues of gray. Oh how I yearn for that time when the mist spreads the city in a vibrant sheen, reflecting, remembering. Oh how I wish time would stand still, Or reverse, to a twilight of long ago years, when the birds sang our love song and the wind whispered your name. But longing has long since dissolved desire into decomposing flesh and dreams, ah yes, Dreams are only the fuel without t...
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Hmm. Very short, first off. And it doesn't really say much. But I guess, how much depth can you put into an eight-word poem? It sounds more like a little jingle than an actual poem, to me at least. I guess it's just not my style.
When I first read this, the first stanza completely lost me, for two reasons. First, I'm not overly fond of the "shots of paradox" line; whereas it sounds cool, it makes relatively little sense to me. Also, I had no idea what persiflage is, and usually I'm not fond of poetry that sends me to the dictionary in the first five lines. After this, though, I got swept up in your words. You have a very elegant writing style that, although it's very wordy in parts, appeals to me. Good writing!
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
You've got great technique when it comes to description. I got a wonderful sense of place and time from this first chapter. Although "treacle", as he calls Mable, might be laying it on a little thick, I like the way you give the narrator a distinct and very believable sort of personality. One thing, though: Wasn't Semelia hiring him because she thought her husband was cheating on her? If so, why in the last paragraph does it state that she doesn't have a husband or a current boyfriend?
This is magnificently written. It has a great flow, and your language caught me right up. I read it through a couple times, and then went back and re-read it yet again. I can only guess at what the true subject of this piece is; it seems, to me, to be largely open to interpretation.
This is a great piece of writing. Your words engage the senses beautifully, both visually and physically. One note, third stanza, first line: 'Sit' should probably be 'sat'. Even with 'sat', however, this line reads a bit awkwardly. I don't think there is anything fundamentally wrong with the sentence, but I tripped over it a bit while reading it so I thought I'd note that. Overall, this is very sweet and moving. Well done.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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