ImaginingMusic's profile

Incredible. That is, it's unbelievable. That is, I don't believe it. Sentimentalism is bad enough without it being fantastical as well. Even if this is the complete, factual truth, sometimes, in poetry, one must alter the facts to make it seem true. In other words, you must give the illusion of truth, in order to tell Truth (capital T). Now, that only applies to poems that are Poetry. Poems that are Poetry are something more than the words that make them: they are a soul surrounded by the bod...

"Just to see it all shudder, crack, break, and fall," That's good. But, I think from, "with one..." on should not be broken up, or should not be broken so much. How 'bout: With one spiteful swing of the wrecking ball.

Lose the period. It's superfluous. I don't think "explanation" works well in Haiku; it's too Western-sounding. "Hurricanes brewing" is very nearly a cliche, and I'm not sure if you mean several hurricanes or "hurricane's." Those are technicalities. It feels like the spirit of this poem is struggling around under skin that's not it's own. The words don't seem to fit the poem. Know what I mean? It's like a teenager who can't find his style, struggling with an image.

I am stuck bewteen disregarding this as another erotic poem and believing it is more. The meaning of this poem is ambiguous. I don't know what the speaker wants. Does she want only the climax or what comes from it as well? The title suggests the latter, but the poem suggests the former. Contact me with an answer, and I'll give whatever help you may want. To answer your Note: 1. You have a well developed ear for "free-verse"--that is, you can make a poem musical without the confines of a stric...

Gadziala, I can't give you specific advice for this poem. Right now you are learning more from reading poetry and reading about poetry. I recommend you read the Paris Review: http://www.theparisreview.com/ I also suggest you read these poets: Dylan Thomas, Robert Lowell, T.S. Eliot, W.B. Yeats, Seamus Heaney, Robinson Jeffers, John Berryman, Louis MacNeice, Ezra Pound, Karl Shapiro, Robert Penn Warren, James Dickey, W.H. Auden. Besides poetry, you should read history, philosophy, literary th...