IdeeFixe09's profile

IdeeFixe09 avatar
AGE: 18
LOC: Mount Vernon, SD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 04

I’m Amanda. I’m a senior in high school. I write short stories and poetry. I do more work on DeviantArt (I’m DudeRun), but occasionally I upload things on here. I am currently working on four ideas for novels including fame, zombies, murder, and floating cities.

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Items
Short Story / Save Him
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
They always grow back Scratch, scratch, scratch Even when I peel them off And dig under the flesh They get long and stretch Dig into the skin of forearms And make porous volcanoes erupt Red, coppery smelling lava flows over With pliers, I dispose of them Water and bandages heal wounds left They shimmy out from under scabs And reach toward the sky amid screams They always come back. I peel them back with the grated teeth of my father's pliers and wraps sticky bandages around the wounds. The fe...
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Young Adult / Time of Dying-Part One
Version 1
4 Reviews   1 Comment
The night was quiet. In the pale moonlight the frosty snow glittered pleasantly and animals walked calmly. A deer scampered through the small clearing of evergreens and stopped, nosing its face down into the cool, white substance to root around for dead grass. It was Christmas Eve and the town of Cascade Locks was barricaded behind their doors. The inhabitants of the town were cozily curled up in their warm beds waiting for Santa to come and all was well. There was nothing to disturb the sere...
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Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum? I sense the lies of an old friend Be she true or be she false I'll not go along with this waltz Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum? I don't pretend to know my chum For she deceives and thieves I'll not be sorry when she leaves Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum? I'll watch as she goes numb Be she 'live or be she dead I'll not worry my pretty head
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Young Adult / Time Of Dying-Part One
Version 1
6 Reviews   0 Comments
Red and blue lights washed over the graying exterior of the abandoned home. Outside on the lawn the neighborhood was gathering in curiosity at the sound of blaring alarms and flashing lights. Normally the dilapidated shack was given little attention; people walked across the street to avoid the haunted aura and averted their gaze from the shadowed windows, but tonight the home was the center of all attention. From the hollow, black throat of the house came two paramedics wheeling a stretcher...
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Poetry / Boy in a Band
Version 1
2 Reviews   1 Comment
Face is on every magazine Decorating every girl's wall Mouth set and eyes keen Stand upon the stage Guitar strapped on Ready to rock at The Cage Just an hour and a half to joke Nothing hard about that Another show to keep from going broke Too young is fifteen So the critics say The pressure is too mean But it's alright No need to worry As long as girls delight
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Reviews
I like it. It's got a creepy feeling to it, but then it's hopeful at the same time. I could definitely see why this would win you something at your school. The only thing that bothered me about this poem was when you used the word 'begun' when it should have been 'began'. I know you probably did that for rhyming purposes, but began would have flowed nicely as well.
Young Adult / Typical Day.
This should go in poetry. I do suppose if you're going to keep the last word of the first phrase in your last stanza, you'll have to have your third line flow. The others flow nicely together, but that one sticks out. My English teacher always told me to stay away from the word 'nice'. Also in your third stanza, third line it is way too long. Your other lines are fairly short and compact while this one is hanging out over the pier. Tighten it up and it'll go nicely.
We'll start off with that I really do like this and it also makes me think. I'm glad I tend to scribble out what I don't like, rather than just trash it. You never know what people are looking for, do you? In your sixth stanza, it bothers me that you used call so close together twice. The first one I would substitute for something else like 'cry out'. I just feel that that would flow better. I'm really not a grammar person, but in your sixth stanza, second to last line at the end you could pu...
Poetry / poet
Hmmm... it's nice. No, I'm just kidding. The first two lines you haven't any punctuation, but then you have it throughout after that and then the last line there isn't any. I think you should have made it all uniform or made the last two lines without to match with the first two lines. Either way I do like it. The imagery is really good and it's really put together well.
Poetry / '57 Fireflite
I knew I was going to like this when I clicked on the title. The imagery you've created is very wonderful and I always appreciate poetry about mythical creatures. I see nothing wrong with what you've put up. Good grammar, spelling, no typos, no lines that seem wrong or just tossed in there--I say you've done good and this is at the publishable stage.