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IAmFiction's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Lynnwood, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 29
LOC: Lynnwood, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 29
I am obsessed with minimalism in art.
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Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
People send me for loops as though it's a trend, although this time I'm without any good friends, content enough socially or so I pretend, but on desolate days that mentality bends, fragility is broken at its fag end. I am waiting through the night for a phone call, leaving her voice mails with a drunken drawl, thinking in metaphors now that I've blown it all, a person is a house of emotion; and stress, their walls, the bigger they are the harder they fall.
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Version 1
18 Reviews
0 Comments
Prose flow from my Amphetamine highs, the product is under revision to sharpen it tight. Standing at 4 a.m. with papers in my hand and my back upright, from the depths of my mind strikes unfathomable self-criticism as I cringe, oh, what a night! A harrowing nausea overtakes me - the call of my muse, the ideas are abrasive and I want them all but my unsteady hand must refuse. Finally the realization comes to me in an espousal of truth, I haven't the slightest idea how to write but I sure can ...
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The guidelines spell it out for you and can be expanded, while viewing any review. You weren't specific and gave no advice whatsoever. You'll also find that "A review needs to be in strict violation of these rules to be removed", within the rules. Not sure what you hope to accomplish or whether or not said review was even worth salvaging. Criticism should be distinctive and clear, but yours was neither.
An overly simple Poem that only tells the obvious. Simplicity is good if used correctly. It says what is intended without being over-bearing although I don't feel like it got to any specific thing in particular, especially with the ending like that.
All things that have been said except for the bit about the street bard. Confusing. I know what you're trying to get across, but do you? Too many people have written so simply of Writing compared to other art forms. If you choose one and run with it in orginized fashion, this could turn out great. Our designate one compared art form per paragraph, maybe? 1. How's it like a Bard? 2. An artist? 3. A musical virtuoso?
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You're awfully bitter and this leads me to wonder if there's anything you're not tired of. I would say that it's repetitive, but you'd be tired of hearing it. A few of the lines work and most of the others are forced.
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The fact that this was all written in letter form is either damaging or inviting, I cannot tell which. But you have a way with words and I cannot find any errors whatever. I look foward to reading more. I just hope that is is written in the form of a narrative. I feel like there isn't really any action described here and I still have no idea what the background behind the story is. Good work, nonetheless.
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