Hyperalis's profile

I particularly liked the lines "Wondering why I cannot exist, Be understood" and "I don’t belong Among those of my Origin". To me, it's an interesting situation to have certain things such as cognitive function, yet, despite that, be unable to exist. Although it's out of context to the rest of the work, that's what it made me think about. Having qualities that are impossible to obtain without existing, yet, being left out of the tangible universe regardless just makes me think. Just felt like...

First observations: I think your second sentence should be modified; I feel it's a run-on. “I’ll tug on your tie a little bit. With my teeth.” I laughed a little bit after reading this line. The way the last sentence in that excerpt just approaches you, and in the context; I find it pretty funny. Your sixth sentence is definitely a run on. I recommend changing it to something like...well, actually, I attempted to modify it without removing or adding content, but I wasn't sure how to do it. Fo...

I liked L5 and L6, primarily because this is something that you typically don't see beauty in, however, the narrator does anyway. This piece inspires me to think of what it would be like if we could casually peer into the true essence of those who we observe, and identify their inner thoughts as if their skin was clear glass - a window to their soul. Good job.

I'm not sure where this quote originated, however, it's nice to come across it here. It puts a certain emphasis on how marriage of modern days are centered more around emotional attachment than anything else. Where you could live with someone who shares similar interests, or hobbies, or perhaps someone whose personality is simply easy-going, there may be a limitation as to how deep you can feel for them. In this way, it can be said that there is a pun on "live with/without", since the first i...

=( I wish someone would whisper softly of paradise in my ear. Why the apostrophe after "thrumming", though? This confuses me.