For what it is, it's fine. Nice description, to the point commentary with an economy of words. The scene is set well with the exception of the "...cubicles behind the urinals that were shaped like red lips." This was (and is) a bit confusing since most urinals I've encountered are flush up against a wall. Anyway, it's hard to picture. Still, good writing. Anyone who's ever been to a men's room in a bar will surely be able to relate.

Very nice imagery and, as is true with most good haiku, it appeals in a number of ways to the senses. There is a depth here also, where the hard wind bends both the tree and the old man, both standing defiant, both ultimately losing to the natural world, etc.. Good job.

Technically sound and certainly within the form's format. The image is clear and accessible and the emotional content, consistent with the title, is immediate as well. As one who no longer reads a lot of haiku, it's a bit startling to encounter the "whine" of "extractor fans" in this ancient form but time does march on. Good luck with it.

A very nice work, easily accessible, evocative and visual. It reads easily and the sound combinations are nice as well. The only thing I find as a fault is the meter and line lengths. In such a nice, long, extended metaphor, the somewhat erratic line breaks greatly detract (for me at least) from the superb imagery. And before I got to the end of the poem, I found myself wondering what you were trying to accomplish by one-word lines juxtaposed with two, three and ten word lines. I think a care...

There is much to like in this one, imagery that appeals to all the senses, vivid and easily accessible, but the work is also full of sound combinations and overused words and phrases that one has encountered before in erotic poetry, "thrashing, straining, muffled moans" and the like. Awfully hard to get away from these conventions in erotic verse but necessary to make the work consistently interesting. Good luck with it.

This is a nice bit of writing. I like history and things such as the difference between legates and miletes interest me as does your first person narration of Fabian's Roman Empire as he knows it. The narration is simple, clear and engaging, all good things and it pulls the reader right in. You do a good job of developing character piecemeal and avoiding the feel of "info-dumping" that one can fall into when developing plot, setting, or characterization. Thus far, however, there is no hint of...

Good job on the second installment. I like the way F. is developed as a soldier in a foreign land and how typical it is for the invader to fail to learn the language of the invaded. This sets up unreliability on the part of F. who misses the significance of many local customs and cultural realities including the significance of the bloodless Druids that is not lost upon either Tristan or the howling Brittons. In terms of plot and character development, I have little to offer in the way of cri...

I like it, but there's more. The images are phantastic, in the best sense of the word and the synaesthesia of colors that "pop and whirl" or "blend and sing" are terrific though somewhat remeniscent of an acid trip. I think the imagery can be made a little stronger by using more immediate verb forms and avoiding "ings" throughout. For instance, in line 7 a "speck of luminosity flitters in" (great) but lines 8 and 9 contain "bouncing", "giggling" and "upsetting" which weakens the overall effec...

A nice piece really. Good, sharp images in each verse as the poem develops in an extended evolution of its own. Some of the word combinations are quite effective. I especially liked "tooth-scraped bone". At first, I had a bit of a problem with the heavy use of alliteration, particularly with the sibilant sounds. But then, as I read it aloud, the harsh consonant sounds (a bit like barking) combined with the hissing "merciless with sharpened sticks" actually had a pretty cool onomatopoeia effec...

Nice. The tone and mood of the work is even and your loner character is consistent with the tough guy/wise guy characters you might meet with Spillane, Hammett or Kerr. Though I like these characters, I have never really understood their contempt for everyone and their animosity to people like the waitress. Their lack of common courtesy is often off-putting and something a reader may have to overcome to care about them. So far, your loner is a shit but he's a consistent shit and that's fine. ...