Him's profile

Quite interesting. Are you sure this shouldn't be in the poetry section? Anyway I like where your piece was going. There seems to be some confliction going on with the character that's reaaly deep and should be developed. This could also make a very good opening for a short story or novel if you ever decided to go there.

Bibelot...? A small household ornament or decorative object. That is what I found when I looked up the word. Not sure if this was your intention. If it was your entire poem does not make much sense to me. If it wasn't your intension then I suggest you pick a new title. If I disregard the title of your poem and read on through, the poem is not really that bad. However, I find the poem to be unoriginal. Also the last line: And I am never enough. does not make sense. You should try rewriting it,...

WOW. Your poetry is really amazing and quite deep. It is also very descriptive to the point that I can imagine myself in the same position. This poem seems very real and unbiased. Also like the comparison factual relation to Greek myths (lonely men with Cronos-appetites, Who order a feast for one, and who, I swear, Eye nearby children with a hungry gleam) you worked that in quite nicely. You really have talent.

Pretty good for a Journal, Dairy, Blogging. Few simple mistakes (like cap (I)) but that's not really the point. Anyway your writing was quite interesting. like you said on top it was mostly an honest approach to writing. The scenes were quite detailed and organized and you story flowed. I like how you detailed the similarities and differences between you and Matt. It was surprising to me that you "felt ashamed that [you] had acted so badly." I believe your response of anger towards the end wa...

1.)Burn your 2nd and 3rd sentence. "Going up the stairs..." TRY THIS: Going up the stairs of El palasio, Claudia looks down. As grinding bodies intertwine in a sea of ecstasy, the orgy of lights washes off their moist skin like melted chocolate on strawberry ice cream...Two men stand... 2.)Keep this line, it's really good:“If it wasn’t for the fact that you were Jose’s goddaughter you-would-be-dead!” Claudia throws her out the door. “Ser la favorita puta de la familia, no es ser parte de la f...