HMStocker's profile
AGE:
36
LOC: Powhatan, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 15
LOC: Powhatan, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 15
I am a 34-year-old mom of two boys, which means that I don’t get as much time to write as I wish. I, like many other writers, want to write that great American novel. But alas, I must work despite the insanity of motherhood—oh to harness that insanity into some great ponderings that will pay collenge tuition!
Items
Version 1
16 Reviews
10 Comments
I suppose it was inevitable. What with two boys, two dogs and one house where the dirt swirls in with a strong wind, it’s destined to have happened at some point. But such a violent death seemed even beyond even the clumsy hands of my 6-year-old, Ian. How could he possibly be the one to murder the greatest superhero ever? The evidence is clear: Superman was last seen in the vicinity of the stairs, head intact. I placed him there, though I admit it, it was a hard toss rather than a soft landin...
Version 1
5 Reviews
4 Comments
If she had to rate her marriage on a scale of 1 to 10, she would give it a 5. Right in the middle, exacting, balanced, but passionless. Curiously enough, if her husband were to rate it, he’d too give it a 5, but for him mediocrity meant stability and a long haul with few peaks and valleys. Just what he loved in life. But for Michelle, she was tired of the same thing all of the time and she often looked at her husband—a man she once admired and greatly loved—with something like disgust. How c...
Version 1
4 Reviews
5 Comments
Bundled against the bite of February you shuffle blood red roses as your adult daughter watches, struggles to keep her scarf from snapping in the bitter wind. Her hair whips across her face as you tuck green stems into the cold cement vase built into her daddy’s head stone. You and she stiffly embrace then move slowly away.
Version 1
5 Reviews
1 Comment
Clean blue broad, pearlesque set behind the shuddering leaves fading green into Fall and light. Sun leaks through misty grain, veins spidering out like hands grasping the last rays.
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Reviews
Develop it more. The "When you're not even supposed to be there in the first place" made me think of 13 year olds in back alleys rather than actual illegal aliens, so I had to do a brain shift. Maybe title first? I think it would be better to have the script...?? Also, there's very little funny about the pervies, so you'll have to convince LOTS of people of the humor in it. Which means it should be really out there--talk about a fine line.
Let me start by saying I LOVE THIS and I don't often say such a thing. First, my husband wears flannels--has since we dated and I've often gotten them for the same reasons. BUT although in this poem, there's a sense of of closeness and intimacy developed between you and flannel, there's an overlay of death...Wow. One thing: you forgot the period at the end? Intentional?
I'd say this qualifies for a rant and you need to focus (ha, I almost put fuckus) your purpose. So...who cares? You don't like preps, who does? What are you saying that's new? What is it you are trying to get to? Perhaps this could be a vingette for a character, but as is, it comes off as teenaged angst which the Sex Pistols and Gen X did so much better. Focus! Spell correctly and, by George, develop it into something else.
I hate to say this, because I actually like this quote, but it reminds me of the Spongebob episode where SB gets all mixed up because Bubble Bass says he leaves off the pickles. There's a whole journey through playful use of language there and this reminds me of it. The episode is called "Pickles" as I recall. I like it. I am disturbed by SB popping into my head. With that being said I might suggest maybe no caps? Order--capitalized--makes me think that it should go first in the puzzle you've...
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