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Gustible's profile
AGE:
42
LOC: South Africa
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 16
LOC: South Africa
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 16
I am exploring avenues towards creative fulfillment. Word painting is one of the roads I am following.
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Version 1
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I feel compelled to say something - but I am at a loss as to what to say. Fortunately I am surrounded by things I like - so let’s pick a random object. I see…the Picasso print, on the wall - “La mujer del mechon”, 1903, pastel drawing by the 23 year old Pablo Picasso. “The woman with the scarf”, if i am not mistaken. We bought this in Barcelona, where the original was created. The portrait bears an uncanny resemblance to Lindy - especially the eyes. The overall tone is blue-greenish. She look...
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Version 2
36 Reviews
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I read for relaxation and to broaden my horizons - knowledge, perceptual, conceptual and other, possibly undiscovered limits to my world. I have no training in the arts of the letter beyond high school and a voracious appetite for reading, yet I believe I am able to distinguish between a good and a bad novel, a good and a bad poem - between writing that is "to purpose", and that which is not. Writing that is "to purpose" consists of pieces that meet their goals of entertaining, informing, add...
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Interesting idea. I would change some sentence constructions, for example: "It isn’t even some sexual encounter’s leftovers." to "It isn't even the leftovers from some sexual encounter". The latter reads more easily/fluently (IMO). Also "..the highest itch tolerance person" could be "person with the highest itch tolerance". "Slong" is correctly spelled as "sclong" - originating from the German word for snake. Anyway - good attempt, and good writing.
I enjoyed reading this piece...the ability to write well generally indicates a certain level of social competency. After all - how could one communicate if one was a social outcast ? I believe there is plenty of possibility for you :) The managers most probably were twats, who were interviewing you according to a standard set of rules, prescribed by other managers...
Yes, it says a lot about the "Creative Life". I perceive that the subject of creativity is some sort of narrative - a play, book, story, whatever. It is well thought through, maybe the subject matter is heartfelt. I like it.
It is certainly an atmospheric piece, but I agree with your statement - it works as pure prose, but not as fiction: there is no plot. Some small issues: "we take heart in every single one refusing" should be " heart FROM every single one". Some of your sentences are long, and can do with comma breaks. I find (and this is really only a personal observation, not a technical thing) that you seem to use a lot of words such as "fatuous", which seems a bit over the top - why not just say "empty dem...
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