I think this story is great. Not just because your use of descriptive words, but because it's real. It's great how you took the fictional characters and applied them to your personal story. You mentioned something about misspelled words, but honestly I didn't see them either {and I was looking for them) maybe another quick glance or two will do it. It's easy to glaze over your own writing and miss things. It's a sad story and I can understand why you would cry writing it. It's the sad reality...

So do you write self help books, because you could. I found this piece helpful, especially the part where you list some of the things a publisher might reject me for. I've made some of those very mistakes and I didn't even notice until just now. Amazing. Thank you for writing this!

I just want to say that you started out strong. Beginning a story with a question is a great way to engage the reader. Immediately I wanted to know what the character was doing. I'm not really sure what the story is about or where it's going, but having a strong start is key. I hope you post more of this because I'd like to know what's going to happen next. Keep in mind that there are going to be mistakes and things, but you could go back and fix those later. Don't make the mistake of re-writ...

I thought this poem was amazing. It reminds me of a qoute I once heard, "Don't die with your music still in you." It speaks to me, telling me that a person who writes has to get everything out before their death, leaving behind a legacy; a little piece of themselves that will let everyone who stumbles upon know they were once there.

First, I would like to say that this story was really funny before I got to the climax. I don't know if you're going for comedy or drama or a little of both, but I think the story is definitely missing something that makes it believable. No one is going to buy the fact that Eric is Jenny's brother. You may as well had Eric announce that he was an alien from Mars. It's just too outrageous. And poor Mia...why is she even in this story? Aside from the fact that she was popular, what other import...

I don't know how convincing this story will be for Tolkien fans, (whose books I've never read) but I do like this story. The only thing I had to go on was the re-cap of all the chapters, but the conflicts that arise seem like valid ones by supernatural standards. The classics teach us that two people who love each other can never end up together, and when Mikell was lying in bed nearly dead, but gut clenched up. I think his recovery was too quick, but that's just my opinion. You begin part 8 ...

Amazing writing. I don't know if it's just my morbid side coming out or what. Jeff is definitely disturbed and I do kinds feel sorry for the guy. I want to go back and read the first part of this up until this point. The descriptions you give are clear and this piece is easy to read - loved that! I honestly couldn't see anything wrong with it. The language fit. The dialogue between characters fit. Except there is one line where the victim calls Jeff a 'crazy fucker' and I think it would have ...

LOL! Very humorous!! My only critique as that some people may no understand the slang you've used here, such as the word "coug" so you might want to check that.