Gazala's profile

hahah i like this! the best bit was that i almost imagined the dialogue between the lady who i imagine is a black and a very old man behind the counter. its very imaginative. "wrinkling her nose in distaste at the high pitched tinkle of the golden bell above her head, as it announced her presence." this bit is a little wordy, but i can see that the "golden bell" is significant to this piece but that sentence is a little wordy. "violent molestation" hmmmm...husband wife squabbles? patriarchy? ...

hmmmm...this is based entirely on emotions, but what i found lacking was the fact that the loneliness was not brought out well. sure, shes lonely but the point is, why does she feels lonely? the bond between her and brian needs to be established. thats lacking, but on the whole you caught my attention. thats a good thing. the conversation needs work tho, “Um, you’re married, as you have forgotten.” that line could do with an edit, and theres a minor spelling mistake in the first bit. "you wer...

nothing good happens after midnight? i disagree. the night has its own charm, you should not be afraid to seek it. theres more than gangsters and the likes in the world, have you ever stayed up listening to the crickets chirp?? its a different world out there, a beautiful world. as for the lyrics, i like the beginning: "As the night drips across the sky Like black paint on a wall" this is the best part but apart from that i didnt quite like it, not because i disagree with you, but simply beca...