For only having 100 words, this painted a vivid picture. The only awkward point for me was the last seven words. Maybe say, "passing his shit back and forth," or "surrounded by smoke."

Well, that certainly went in a different direction than I thought it was going. It is well written but is in need of some punctuation changes and has a couple of typos. Bits should be bites. Semicolon after again. No comma after stop, empty, or hands. Pending tiny revisions, this could be great.

This was riveting storytelling and descriptive writing. It made excellent use of phonetic spelling in dialog and thought to add to the reader's ability to "hear" the vernacular of the south. The homo-erotic content could seemingly have less to do with gay feelings and more to do with the seeking of comfort through sexual exploration and feeling, or could in fact be the beginnings of an alternate sexual orientation. I'm sure the nature of this relationship will be explored further in subsequen...

The words here are wrought with imagery. Each stanza transports the reader down another desperate avenue, exploring the horror and outrage of martyrdom. My only suggestion would be to keep the rhyme scheme consistent with the line breaks (even if punctuation seems to dictate otherwise.) Your third stanza ends each of its four lines with the aa bb rhyme scheme. While the other stanzas seem to follow the same pattern, the fluidity is broken up with the way the lines are broken. Overall excellen...

This is a concise meditation on the communication gap between men and women. It's a heartfelt piece of work containing characters with whom a large audience will relate. So much is said here with so few words. Great job.

While it is admirable to use writing as a form of catharsis, a short story cannot be held us by it's author's emotional release alone. The first sentence is a bit hard to follow. It's missing a couple of commas and 'mow' seems awkward. The sentences to follow do little to form the framework of a story but do evoke strong feelings and a conjuring of vivid images. The writing itself IS good, I'm just not sure if it would be better characterized as poetry.

This was really unique and suspense building work. The idea of cologne as the trophy after a kill; to hold onto someone's literal essence is a great premise. Here are a few minor technical revisions to consider: and she was ready. God I hope the coffee is ready.---- saying ready twice in so short a space reads awkward. There should be a comma after God for direct address. after bar close one night---- after the bar closed how she preferred them anyways.--------anyway out of sight-----sight, q...

Tragic subject matter with shocking presentation. It seems to be a Misfits thrash punk meets emo kind of lyricism. The third line should say his instead of is. I'd also consider tweaking some of the lines to keep the syllable counts matching in each verse. That would help with fluidity.

Wedzell's character seems well developed for such a short scene. The boss and reason for the blowout are less important (especially because you are considering the piece flash) but I'm left feeling as though this is incomplete. It seems as though the driving for behind Wedzell's attitude is the contents of the glovebox. By alluding to its contents, the work would read much stronger.

This was a truly entertaining bit of tongue in cheek satire and while humor may not have been the original aim, it's subtlety and unwavering wit played out nicely. The scene divisions were well placed and most possessed the sarcastic charm of the rest of the work although I'd consider making the first three divisions more in line with that sentiment. Some minor revisions: close to wings, a tiara and a joint.---- tiara, I don’t have an MA in Media Studies or something like that.---- something/...